The Book of Masks (Vol. 4)

Gag Gifts and Otherwise

Previously: "Birthday Surprises" 

Josiah? At your birthday party? In Deanna Showalter's face? "I thought we were going to fucking avoid each other after this," you say.

He grins, and now he looks more like a rat than a rabbit. "You told Carlos you were having a party. I think I should be there too."

I don't even know if there's going to be a party! you almost yell at him. But probably there is. And, anyway, you need an excuse for not going home tonight.

"I have to call some people," you grumble at him. "I don't know what's going on. I'm not the one who planned it!" you add when Josiah makes a face at you.

And since you don't want to spend any more time with him than you have to, you tell him that you'll text "Deanna" later with details, and stalk out of the unit.

Son of a bitch! You cuss under your breath all the way out to your car, and your fingers are twitching hard as you try texting James. You have to remind yourself not to vent your fury on him.

wats plans fr tongith? you ask him. After ten minutes pass without an answer, you drive off and find a strip mall to park in front of so you won't run into "Deanna" when she emerges from the storage complex.

what make syou think thres plans? James replies when he finally finds time.

wernt u planing a party? my b-day?

i though u didnt want one.

You throw your head back and yell at the car ceiling. Then you type: dont make me beg.

He sends back a winking emoji and a laughing emoji, then asks who and how many you want to come. You tell him you want Eva and Jessica and Cindy there, then after a moment's thought you add Yumi's name and Will's name—you want to see how Chelsea is doing in the mask, and it would be a good chance to lobby some more for her to hook up with your beta. plus maybe one or two i can't think of, you add to cover for Deanna without mentioning her name. He counter-proposes some names of his own which you accept, and says he'll get back to you.

You keep texting James, until it's settled that you'll all meet at Balducci's for pizza.

And speaking of Yumi and Chelsea ...

* * * * *

"I haven't been able to spend any time with her," Maria Vasquez tells you when you talk on the phone a little later. "She was really freaked out at first, and she drove off and wouldn't take any of my calls. And I haven't seen her at all today."

"Haven't you at least heard from her?" you ask. You feel a surge of guilt and horror: What if Yumi has done something to herself?

"Sure, I texted her this morning. She told me she was going to be busy so she couldn't see me. I talked to Gloria and Kendra, and they told me they haven't heard anything from her either. I suspect she's off by herself trying to get used to the idea that she's suddenly now Chelsea Cooper."

That would make sense, but before you reflect more fully on what Yumi is likely to do, Maria asks you about Chelsea.

"I spent all yesterday with her," you report. "I, uh, took her on kind of a double-date. Me and James Lamont, her and, uh, my beta." You cringe, for you haven't told Fairfax or any of the others about your plan to trick Chelsea into dating you. "Then I spent the evening with her, doing homework, keeping her from getting in trouble."

"How did she handle it?"

"Pretty well, I guess. I get the impression she was trying to pick my brain, trying to get, you know, information about Yumi's family and about her friends so she could, I guess, fake her way through things. I helped her. It seems funny that Yumi didn't try the same thing."

"Maybe she did, just not with me. Did you get together with Chelsea today?"

"No, I had family plans. And then"—you make a face—"I had to help Josiah with Deanna."

"Yes, I heard."

You tense. "Yeah? What did he say?"

"Just that it went off okay and he wants me to come out to the complex later. Why, was there a problem?"

You hesitate. "No," you tell him with a sigh. "Only, we're not each other's biggest fans right now."

"Well, you don't have to do anything with him if you don't want. Josiah's job is to listen from a distance, to see what other people are saying about it all, while we stay close to the girls to observe.

So that's why he picked Deanna, you think. It would make sense, since Deanna talks and gossips with so many people.

But Philip is still talking: "If you've got nothing else going on, can you try to get together with Yumi today? To see how Chelsea has adjusted to getting the memories?"

"I should see her tonight. It's, uh, my birthday, and a bunch of the guys are throwing a party for me."

"Oh. Happy birthday."

"Thanks. I'd have you out there too but, y'know. Maria." You grit your teeth. "I'll see Deanna out there, though. Josiah wants to be there."

"He must already be trying to get into character," Maria says, in a tone even drier than usual. "Funny."

* * * * *

"Well, open it," Carson honks after dropping a small package wrapped in newspaper onto your plate. He plops into a chair at the end of the table and locks his gaze onto the TV hanging in the corner of the dining room. "I paid good money for it."

You're at Balducci's, the city's premier pizza place. Four tables have been pushed together to the half-dozen of your friends that are already there, and the half-dozen expected to arrive shortly.

It's a gag gift Carson has brought you—a bottle of blowing bubbles—to go with the small, stuffed Tigger that Paul Davis has given you. Those are the only presents so far, which is fine with you. It's enough to have friends and food, and the volume steadily rises as more people crowd in: Eva and Jessica and Cindy, Deanna and Meghan Faris and Jamie Bornholm, Caleb and Keith and Will. The latter two are fakes, of course, and it gives you a queer turn to watch them goofing off with the oblivious Caleb.

And then there's Yumi. You made sure to save the seat next to you for her.

She's very serene and sunny as she sweeps in, and she gives you a big hug before settling in at your side. She chats gaily and confidently with her friends; makes a few snarky remarks about her brother, who was being a pest all afternoon while she was trying to get ready; and she brushes away all talk about the cheerleader squad when Jessica obliquely raises it. You could almost forget that she isn't the real Yumi.

Almost.

But when she excuses herself to use the restroom after most of the pizzas have been consumed, you make a point of following her. You catch her at the sink, brushing her bangs back and checking her makeup. She gives you a quick smile that is a little too knowing for your comfort. "Happy birthday," she tells you again.

"Thanks. Um, did you talk to Will any more today?"

"I didn't talk to him at all." She turns back to the mirror. "Why?"

"I was just wondering. You know, I didn't want to push you last night, after your date with him."

She spares you a half glance and a little less than half a smile. "Why are you suddenly the matchmaker, Jenny?"

"Oh, I don't mean to be."

"You told me it wasn't a date. You told me you just wanted me to boost his confidence. You know." She straightens out her blouse. "So he could get it up enough to get himself a real girlfriend."

"Oh." You feel yourself crimsoning. "Well, yeah. But—"

"So do you or don't you think that I could be that real girlfriend?" A dimple shows in her cheek as her smile turns sly.

"Well, um ... Are you interested in him?"

She puts her makeup away before answering. "I guess I could be persuaded, Jenny," she says, but she avoids looking you in the eye until she adds, "But don't you think he should be the one doing the persuading?" She pushes you away and breezes back out the door.

* * * * *

"I have no idea what it might mean, Will," Maria tells you. It's Sunday afternoon and you're supposed to meet the other guys up at Carlos's studio for a conference, but so far it's only you and Fairfax. "Was she acting more like Yumi or more like Chelsea, in your opinion?"

While waiting for the others, you broke down and told Fairfax your plan to maneuver Chelsea (as Yumi) into dating your beta. To your surprise, he accepted the idea without arguing, so you followed up by telling him of your restroom conversation with her.

"I don't know," you confess. "That's why I'm asking you. Is Chelsea the sort to fuck around like that?"

Maria contemplates the ceiling.

"I don't know," she admits. "Whichever way things go, it would be fascinating to see what happens. A real test of character. But you know," she adds after a moment's thought, "if you really want to push her and your beta together, you should do it through someone other than Jenny."

You blink. "I can get Eva and Jessica to push it, I guess."

She shakes her head. "Someone else. You'll want a second beta anyway. Think about someone who could exercise some influence on, uh, Yumi."

"Like who?"

After twenty minutes of talk—for the others are very late—you come up with four names ... and a whole school of other candidates.

Next: "Monday Bombshells" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 4)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 4)"