The Book of Masks (Vol. 4)

Happy Birthday to the New You

Previously: "The Tomboy" 

"Guys!"

Neither turns. "Hey! Guys!" you yell again.

But Carson Ioeger and James Lamont, their heads bowed, just stride across the student parking lot on loping legs toward the gym.

Bastards. You throw yourself into a sprint to catch up; your backpack bounces off your shoulder blades. "Guys!" you pant as you skid up to them. "Didn't you hear me?"

Carson glances over. "Oh, hey Ashton. Was that you barking like a seal back there?"

"I don't bark!" You punch him in the shoulder. "You should'a looked back at least when you heard me."

"I look back for no man. Hot, sexy women, on the other hand—" Now he does glance back over his shoulder.

"Fine, I wanted to talk to James anyway." You duck around and fall in beside his best friend. Like Carson, James is tall and rail thin, as though he's been stretched on the rack. He's half a head taller than Will Prescott; now that you're Jenny Ashton, he's a full head taller than you. "Wha'd you guys do last night?"

"Homework," says James. Carson says, "Masturbated furiously."

"Gross. You seen Yumi around?"

"We just got here, Ashton," says Carson. "Have you thought about putting a GPS tracker on your friends?"

"Thought about putting one on your skinny ass, but I think it's too skinny to hold it."

James guffaws. "Come with me to my locker," he says as he opens the school doors for you. To Carson: "Catch up in the library?"

"I got better things to do than watch you two flirt." Carson takes off down another hallway.

You cast a dirty glance at the back of his dirty t-shirt, then squint up at James. He returns you an enigmatic squint of his own.

He has a huge crush on Jenny. Everyone knows it, including Jenny.

"What do you need from your locker?" you ask.

"Nothing. Not anything I need that bad. Come on." His hand hovers over your shoulder, but doesn't settle there.

"What's your deal?" you ask as he turns toward the library. You follow. "You weren't trying to get rid of Carson, were you?" You glance backward, but Carson has vanished into the crowd.

"So what if I was? We're not fucking Siamese twins, him and me. I mean—" A grin fights its way onto his face. "I mean it would be awesome if we were fucking a couple of Siamese twins—"

"That's gross," you retort. "And gay."

"How's it gay?"

"You and your best friend having a three-way or something with—"

"It would be a four-way," James corrects you. "Even if they're conjoined it would be two of them and two of us—"

"A fucking orgy then. And if you want to do it with Ioeger, you don't need anyone else there too. You and him's what you want, right?" you prattle on in a breathless way, and even knowing that what you're saying is a lot of hurtful bullshit you can't help finishing up with, "And that's what makes it gay."

James has stopped in front of the library door, and his expression is very tight. "I'm sorry," you tell him, and pluck at one of the belt-loops on his jeans. "You were just being gross and I was just trying to be gross back."

"Whatever, Ashton," he mutters as he opens the library door for you. "I don't even remember what we were talking about."

"Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Who says I ever want to talk to you about anything?"

"Jesus, if you don't want to—"

"Siddown, Jenny." He shoves you down into a chair. "I wanted to talk to you about your birthday, alright?" Pink spots show in his cheeks as he hurls himself into the chair next to you. He folds his arms and glowers.

My birthday? you almost squeak. Fuck, that's right! Jenny Ashton has a birthday coming up in, like, a week or two. She'll be eighteen. You suppress a shiver.

James is still staring at you. His eyes are a soft brown, and you suppress another shiver to see the fear and tenderness in them.

"Well, what about my birthday?" you ask when he doesn't say anything. You tense all over.

He holds your eye, then shrugs. "What do you want to do for it?"

"Nothing. I mean, I assume my parents are going to take me out and—"

"What about us? Your friends? You don't want us doing anything?"

"I don't want— I mean, I don't want anyone making any trouble or anything. You know, just on my account."

"Is that what you told Yumi?"

"Yumi?" You feel overwhelmed and baffled. "What has she—? I haven't even talked to her! Have you and her been—? Has anyone—?"

James leans across the table to thrust his face into yours. "Have you talked to anyone about your birthday?" he demands.

You cringe. "No."

"Okay then. So now's the time to talk about it."

"Oh, God, James! I don't—"

"We're going to take you out," he declares. Something curls about your foot, and you gasp and jump as you realize it's his foot. "Some of us. All of us." He tilts his chin. "When are you free, and where do you want us to take you?"

Your breath is now coming in short gasps. "You don't have to— We can just go hang out someplace. Like a regular night, or something. I mean, if you really—"

"Who do you want along?"

"I don't know! Jeez, this is embarrassing!"

"Names, Ashton."

You glance around, looking everywhere but in James's face. The library is crowded with people waiting for first period to start, but your head is in too much of a whirl to recognize any of them, let alone put any names to them. You wish the floor would open up and swallow you.

James kicks you under the table. "You," you blurt out. "You and Carson and Paul."

"Just us? You want it stag, huh?"

"And Yumi. And Lin. Cindy." Your brain is a whirl-a-gig, and the names come flying out unbidden.

"Eva and Jessica?"

"Sure."

"Who else?"

"What-ever! Anyone who wants to go, I guess!" Your face is burning. "We're just going to go have a study group or something, right? I told you, I don't—"

"Bullshit. I mean, if you want to pretend that's all we're going to do for you, fine. But—"

"Oh, God, James." You bury your face in your hands. But behind your embarrassment is a deep happiness at having so many friends who can be counted on to turn out to wish you a happy birthday. Tears burn the back of your eyeballs, and you sniffle.

A warm hand settles on your forearm. You peep out at James between your fingers. He's leaning forward with a look of concern.

Impulsively, you cover his hand with one of yours and squeeze it. "I'm being a goose," you squeak. "This is really sweet and awesome of you, and you're embarrassing me—"

"I'm not trying to embarrass you."

"I know. I just feel like I need you to know that, like— I'm not asking for anything!"

"I know."

"If you didn't do anything at all for me, if it really was just a regular day, and all of us—" You gulp back a sudden attack of the hiccups. "Or even just you and me and Carson and Paul— Or you and me and Yumi— I mean if it was just a regular day with you or anyone else, it would be—"

You have to break off before you break down completely.

James squeezes your hand, and pulls you closer.

"That's why we want to do this for you," he says as he peers deeply into your eyes. His own are now wet. "Because you make the regular days so awesome."

And then you do lose it, and have to bury your face in your elbow. James drapes a long arm across your shoulders, and settles his head by yours, and holds you in this way until you're the master or your emotions again.

You recover yourself by the time bell has rung, but you duck into the girls' restroom long enough to wash the puffiness from your eyes.

You can't help giving yourself a secret smile as you do so, for you've passed the day's first test.

You have successfully fooled her best guy friend into believing that you are Jenny Ashton.

* * * * *

Not that you had any real doubt that you could. Last night the others had tried talking you into staying out late, saying that it would take time for Jenny's memories and personality traits to start coming, and that it would be best if you went home only when it was very late, so that you could go to bed without risking too much time with her family. "After a night's sleep," Philip assured you, "you'll be able to fool anyone."

But it felt to you like you had her memories already. At least, you could picture her house and her family and her friends, and when you looked at the other girls in the storage bay, you felt snap judgments about each of them. Eva: Sweet but a little too naive and trusting. Jessica: Smart, but a little too tactless and sharp-tongued. Cindy: Popular but feckless. Maria: God, what is that space cadet doing here with us?

In fact, that feeling of Jenny's mind and personality mixed up with yours was so strong that it seriously weirded you out to look at the girls and know that they were all fakes, and it was really creepy whichever way you looked at them: These aren't my friends, they're other people pretending to be my friends. But really these are my friends, only they're pretending to be people who really aren't my friends.

Next: "First Day Nerves" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 4)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 4)"