The Bologna Blog

Teenager

If you have never cleaned a teenagers room, the experience is trauma at its finest. My son is away for 10 days so I thought I'd surprise him with a clean room to come home to and a nice bed to warm his hearts cockles after camping for nearly two weeks. First the hidden stash of trash in obscure locations is mind boggling. We own trash cans and he even has one in his room but apparently the distance is too great. Next is the number of dishes, mainly glasses, that were being held captive in this den of dirtiness is atrocious. I somehow failed to notice that my cabinet was empty, probably because I use the same cup multiple times. He must be given credit for setting the record for balled-up,non-paired, grimy socks found under the small wall-mounted basket ball hoop that shares no connection to the laundry basket on the other side of the room. This mom tallied the total at 37 socks. It is nice to find out that my washing machine is not the culprit in this one sock game we've been playing for years. Next, I should probably mention the teenage boy smell that permeates the room. It is hard to describe, but I swear it is like having a jock-strap taped to your nostrils. Fabreeze is my new best friend.

For the past few years, I have only entered this bedroom to pile freshly laundered items or replace items left in my living room. He is responsible for maintaining his living space. When I have mentioned cleaning it, he makes it presentable to the glancing parents eye. Little did I know that there were cubbied pockets of filth lurking beneath the surface, Half-way through the job I thought about running out and closing the door to pretend I'd never seen it. My sensibilities would not allow it, so I trudged through the swamp and completed my task. It looks much nicer. The good news is that he won't be home now for several days giving me enough time to loose my all out fury at the state of the room. We will definitely have a talk when he returns but there are two things that I've learned from this project. The first is that I will only have this child for a short time now. At seventeen, he will be on his own soon with college and life in general. I love the boy, warts and all, making me want to hold on to our time together for as long as we can.

My next lesson, is a happy moment for mothers everywhere. I failed to come across any illicit drugs, porn, alcohol or any uncomfortable materials of any kind.It does my heart good to know that he is the kid I always believed him to be. I didn't go looking for the worst possible scenario but I learned a little more about the guy that lived here. Though he is a slob, he had pictures of his family and friends prominent on his desk. Athletic trophies and medals were clean and dusted. His bowling bag was front and center in the room. The books he read as a kid were lined up neatly. And most importantly,the cross he received for confirmation still hung on his wall.