The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

The Cradle Snatcher

Previously: "An Age Regression" 

The air in the living room seems to congeal. For the longest moment, no one speaks.

Then Mrs. Matthias says, "Well, I should be going."

"It was great seeing you, Diane," your mom says. She grips your dad's elbow.

"Um—" You hate to speak, for fear that everyone will look at you. But what's worse is that no one does, even as you squeak out, "You get all the homework, Mrs. Matthias?"

"What?"

"The homework for Dane? That you came by to pick up?"

"Huh? Oh, sure." She tries to brush past you, and steps on your foot. "Thanks for everything." She fumbles at the doorknob, and no one says anything even after she has scrambled out of the house.

You glance between your mom and dad. He is staring at the floor; your mom—still gripping his elbow—is glowering at the ceiling.

"Well," you say, and rub your hands together. No one pays you any attention. "I'll be upstairs." No one stops you as you back your way up the first five steps, then turn and flee up the rest of them.

Leslie's door is shut, and you hesitate to knock, though you're dying to bust in and start demanding what the fuck? and why the hell? You put your ear to it, but there's no sounds from within. You creep into your own room and shut the door.

The fuck is going on? you wonder as you rake your fingers through hair that is sopping with sweat. Your nerves are now completely shattered. Was that why I was so upset all afternoon? you wonder. Some freaking ... premonition ... that something was up?

Your phone chimes with a text from Eric Murphy: yu horseface chikenchoaking goatfucker. But you're too upset and distracted to resume the insult game. Instead, you text Caleb:

Did bhodi or thm say anthing abt y mrs mattas wanted leslie osbourne? Like did she now osbournes? You fiddle with the idea of sending a similar text to Bhodi directly, but hold off until you hear back from Caleb.

You're still waiting for a reply when your name is shouted from downstairs. Your mom calls Leslie too, and you slow up to wait in the upstairs hallway until her door opens and she comes out.

You almost collapse at the sight of her.

She looks just like your sister. Bouncy blonde hair pulled behind her neck to fall between her shoulder blades in thick waves; pearl earrings; clear skin; starchy blouse and pressed pants. Little Miss Queen of the Sophomore Class. She gives you a quick, bright glance before rushing past. "Yes?" she calls out breathlessly as she tumbles to the bottom of the stairs.

Your mom is waiting with folded arms. "Did you to eat yet?"

"I had a snack," you reply; Leslie shakes her head.

"Well, go out and get yourselves something to eat." She picks up her purse and digs through it. "Not fast food, either. Someplace you can go in and sit down."

Oh fuck, you catch yourself muttering under your breath as you take the sheaf of twenties she proffers. They're about to have a domestic.

But Leslie's face is shining brightly. "Can we bring you back anything?"

"We already ate. You can meet up with friends, if you want."

"I'll go get my stuff," she chirps. "Love you, Mom!"

But you grab her by the elbow before she can dash off. "Come on, Les. Kids night out."

"But—"

"You don't need anything. Let's just get going."

She jerks herself free. But though she shoots you a dirty look she does follow you outside.

"So where do you want to go?" you ask on your way out to the car.

"I don't care. Wherever. If it's just to eat, you know—"

"To eat and talk. We got stuff to talk about, you know. You and me. Spencer and Leslie."

She stares at you over the top of the car, then giggles.

"That's right," she says as she slides in and buckles up. "Spencer and Leslie Osbourne." She repeats it in a singsong.

"That's right," you agree. You start the car. "I wanna know how come you picked Leslie."

"I didn't pick her." There's a greasy titter behind her words. "Your friends picked her out for me."

"You mean they just said, 'Here, you have to be Leslie'? They didn't give you, like, a choice?"

"Oh, there was a choice, but it wasn't much of one. You know? I mean, Leslie!" She giggles again and hugs herself. "She's so perfect, right? You know that, don't you? Spencer?" She giggles. "Even her own brother can see—"

"Her brother thinks she's a stuck-up little bitch who acts like she's too good for most people."

She sniggers. "Like mother, like daughter, I guess."

"Yeah, that's what I want to know about. You knew Mom and— Mr. and Mrs. Osbourne, didn't you? Before." You take your eyes off the road long enough to shoot her a couple of hard glares. "Did you go to school with them or something?"

"Tch!" She rolls her eyes. "What makes you think—?"

"You knew their names. Also, your double, the thing that replaced you, it ran into them on her way out. Everyone recognized each other, called each other by name. Hi, Diane! Hello, Heather! No one looked real happy about it, either."

Leslie's mouth falls open in a grin. Then she laughs—a long, low, guttural sound, like dirty ditch water gurgling inside a culvert.

"Oh, I bet that was great! What happened? Come on! Dish!" She grabs your arm, and you can feel her fingernails even through the puffy jacket. "What did they all say when they saw each other? What did Mom—?" She sucks in a breath. "Mom," she repeats, savoring the word. "What did Mom say?"

"What the fuck is with you? What the God-damned fuck? Les— I mean, Daine—"

"Tsh! You had it right the first time." She hugs herself. "Leslie Osbourne. Mmm!"

With a hard jerk of the wheel you hurl the car into the parking lot of a strip mall and jam the brakes.

"I will throw you out of the fucking car right now if you don't tell me—"

"You do, and you'll get in so much fucking trouble with Mom," she jeers back. "So don't fucking threaten me, Spencer."

"Just tell me what's going on. You can feel yourself up tonight. But if we're gonna live together, if we're gonna be fucking brother and sister, I wanna know what kind of a shit storm we're gonna be in for. 'Cos that's what it feels like is coming. A shit storm!"

* * * * *

"It's some sicko revenge thing she's got going," you report to Caleb later that night, after you're back home. You dropped Leslie off at her friend Laura's house after getting only a quick bite to eat; you didn't want to spend any more time with her than you had to after she had made a clean breast of things. "Jesus, man," you groan. "Why the fuck did Bhodi and them have to dangle Leslie Osbourne in front of her?"

"What's it fucking matter, Will?" Caleb retorts. "It's none of our business. You wouldn't even be worrying about it except you decided to."

"She's gonna fuck something up."

"If someone's gonna fuck something up, it's gonna be Bhodi and them."

"Why, what are they up to?" you interject.

"I just mean, they're a lot of dumb sophomores. At least Dane's mom is an adult."

"I got serious doubts about that, man, the way she was talking." You shudder.

"So how's she gonna fuck things up? What's this revenge thing you're talking about?"

"They all went to high school together. Dane's mom and Leslie's mom and Leslie's dad. Her dad was—"

"He's your dad now too, Will."

"Fuck you, Jojo. But anyway, he was, like, a star soccer player and stuff, real popular jock and stuff."

"Like Marc Garner?"

"I guess. You wouldn't know it to look at him, though, not these days. Something for Garner to look forward to, I guess. But anyway, he was already dating Leslie's mom—"

"Your mom."

"—but he did it with Dane's mom at a party."

"Did it?" he echoes. "What, you mean he—"

"I mean he fucked her. Dur. Took her in a bedroom and pulled her panties down and rooted around in her like a blind hog digging for acorns."

"When was this?"

"Back when they were in high school, I told you! Dane's mom was a real party girl, real popular but— Well, she didn't say she was totally the school slut, but I get the impression she was totally the school slut and it sounds like she was angling for him anyway. So she almost broke him and Leslie's mom up, she says—"

"Why do I care about old school gossip, Will?" Caleb demands. "I don't care what went on at school yesterday."

"The point is, they all got a history together, these people, and Dane's mom and Leslie's mom hate each other for it. Dane's mom's always hated Leslie's mom anyway, and by, you know, stealing her daughter's body—" You take a deep breath. "Well, it's totally sick, and I don't mean in a wicked cool way."

"I don't get how it is, Will."

"If you could have listened to her, man, you would!"

You shiver as you remember the way Leslie gloated in the car. It made your skin crawl. I'm Leslie now, she said. I'm Heather's perfect, perfect daughter. I'm perfect, the way Heather was perfect. It is perfect, isn't it? She goes through all the trouble of giving Tom a perfect daughter, a perfect copy of herself ... And now I'm that perfect daughter.

Caleb sighs. "Well, what the fuck do want me to do about it, man? What exactly are you scared of?"

You can't answer that. All you've got is a dread that Mrs. Matthias isn't going to be content with "being Leslie Osbourne" and might try doing something really radical ... and really awful.

That's all for now.

*
"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"