Blindfaller

Picking Up Pieces

I picked up my glass of red wine and studied my lovely wife on the opposite side of the fancy table. Her favorite restaurant. She smiled and took a dainty bite of salad. Her ultra-feminine way of chewing used to drive me wild, now I tried to hide my disgust.

This morning, the phone call came in that destroyed me and all the loving memories I'd built up and collected in my mind for years. Now, the shattered pieces of us lay scattered everywhere and I needed to move on or I'd self destruct.

"How's your dinner, Dear?" My voice sounded phony to myself, but I doubted she'd notice.

"Fine," her boredom apparent as she fiddled with her smartphone.

“I talked to your brother on the phone today, Viv.”

Her phone slipped out of her hands, and she spent an awkward moment fumbling with it.

“Oh? What did he know?” Her voice shook as her hazel eyes pierced through me.

“I think you know what we talked about. He’s done lying for you.” I set my fork down, gentle and unemotional. I would not get angry here. There would be time for that later, behind closed doors. Certainly when we got home and she saw my packed bags by the front door.

Vivian paled and excused herself to use the bathroom. When she returned, I could tell that she’d been sick. She’d been sick an awful lot lately. I didn’t think much of it, thought she had some digestion problems, until the call from her brother, Tom.

“So, I understand you were planning to take that business trip to Seattle, next week.” I changed my tone to be more conversational, but she knew which direction I was headed, I could tell by her terrified eyes, swimming in a sea of angry tears.

“Roger, do we have to do this now…in public?”

“Yes, we do. And we need to do it quickly because I have a flight to catch in two hours…and so do you.” I knew I shouldn’t be enjoying this moment, this woman had caused too much pain, but there was a certain satisfaction of putting her in her place.

“What do you mean? Where are we going?” She had long abandoned her salad and had focused her attention on me, her eyes a mixture of anger, fear, and uncertainty.

“Well, you’re going to your brother’s house to finish out your pregnancy. After the child is born, if you still want to give him or her up for adoption, you will allow me to adopt our child. If you’d like to keep it, we’ll have to figure out a proper custody arrangement.” I drained the last of my wine and hoped our server would be around soon, I needed a refill.

“And you?”

“I have to pick up our missing pieces. There are two other children for me to find, aren’t there? Did I figure that right?”

A tear slid down Viv’s cheek and splatted on a leaf from her salad. “Yes, that’s right.”

Though I wanted to be heartless, seeing this woman cry, made me tear up too.

“Why did you do it, Viv?”

She sniffed, then blew her nose in her napkin. “I knew if I told you I was pregnant, you’d want me to keep it. I just never wanted kids. They take so much time and money. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want to sacrifice all of that. I’ve been on birth control for years, but sometimes I forget, and I could never have an abortion. I’m not that cruel.

“So, you thought it was okay to give away my children? Do you think so little of me?” Then another thought occurred to me. “How did you do it without me noticing?”

Vivian wiped her eyes. “That wasn’t very hard. When I got pregnant the first time, I learned that even in my eighth month, I didn’t get very big. I could easily hide it by wearing baggy clothes. You probably just thought I had gotten tubby. I went on a long business trip. At least, that’s what you thought. I came back a little thinner, and life went back to normal. Then it happened again…” She trailed off, then pushed her plate away from her. “Besides, I told you when we were dating that I didn’t want kids…”

“No, you told me you couldn’t have kids. There’s a difference.”

Vivian shrugged, then waved the waitress over to the table for the check. Clearly, she was ready to leave.

I had more to say, but I had a long flight ahead of me, and only a small idea of how I would track down my children. I was thankful that Viv’s brother had been willing to help. I wished he had come to me sooner, but I couldn’t dwell on that.

I paid the bill, then escorted my wife of ten years to our car. I would miss her. I really would.

“You’ll come with me without a fight, won’t you?” We pulled into our drive and sat in the car, the radio on low, the night warm and full of cricket sounds.

She thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, I’ll come. You can have the child.” The mood was somber as we stepped inside the house and Vivian went upstairs to pack. We needed to hurry to make the flight in time.

A few hours later, we arrived at the Seattle airport. Her brother waited there to take her to her temporary home. He would call me when it came time for the birth. I brushed Viv’s hair away from her forehead and gave her a tender kiss. I headed off on my journey with a sad but hopeful heart. I would search until I found our children, the missing pieces of our lives, scattered along and tossed to the wind.
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985 Words

I'm Pickin up pieces of my broken heart
a lifetime to make a moment to break these
pieces apart picking up pieces so lonesome and blue
leavin' this city ain't it a pity
with these pieces of you and me on my mind
Pieces of you and me on my mind,
a lifetime of tryin' and leaving behind
pieces of you and me in the end
scattered along and tossed to the wind
now, my old friend, I'm off to spend all of my time
picking up pieces of you and me on my mind
Pieces of you and me on my mind
two fallen stars on a dark dark night
pieces of you and me start to fade
lost in the shadow of a dark dark day
now it's too late, so little remains of these pieces of us
I'm picking up pieces of my broken heart
a lifetime to make a moment to break these pieces apart
picking up pieces so lonesome and blue
I'm leavin' this city ain't it a pity with these pieces of you
and me on my mind