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Self Control (MHWA)

Prompt from

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Many people with mental illness struggle with personal control. From anger management to impulse control issues to a general lack of motivation, let's talk about our own control issues.

Questions to think about:
*Bullet* What are some self-control issues you've struggled with? Anger? Impulsive behaviors? Focus? Motivation?
*Bullet* Are there any warning signs or triggers that you're going to have a lapse in self control?
*Bullet* What actions have you taken to regulate your emotions or regain control of yourself? What has worked and what hasn't?

As a survivor of incest at the hands of my father, tremendous abuse and neglect by both parents, multiple rapes, and being kidnapped and help prisoner for two weeks, self control is a big deal for me. Huge actually. As a teenager I struggled a great deal with anger. At one point I beat on a slide glass door with my fists until I shattered it, leaving my hands a blood mess. My fingers carry the scars to this day. There are periods when I struggle with motivation, depression, and anti-social tendencies.

I use a range of coping skills to overcome these issues. Writing, mindfulness coloring, deep breathing, bribery and at times simply forcing myself with brute mental force. I tend to be a very regulated person in my daily life and like to stay as busy as humanly possible. My husband often wonders about how healthy that is for me but it's one of my coping skills. If I'm busy, I don't have time to think about what terrifies me. Give me things to do with no choice but to do them and then move out of the way or get run over. It's rare the circumstance that defeat me as I will tackle it with bull-headed, unwavering determination, enthusiasm, and vigor.

That said there are times my emotions get out of control. I can be snappy, easily irritable. I tend to react first and ask questions later. It doesn't take me very long to cool off once I pop off in that manner. Usually time and deep breathing works well in those circumstances. Sometimes it's important to walk away from the triggers. If someone is in my face, I walk away as opposed to reacting in kind. This is a conscious and important choice to make and one of the healthiest. Better to work out the issues with two cool minds than two hot ones.



Charity Marie
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