The Humanimals of Mizzer

Beulah in the Gem Mine

Look Down, Look Down
Don’t Look ‘Em in the Eye
Look Down Look Down
You’re Here Until You Die

Beulah had long since mesmerized that refrain...That was the song the Humanimals who had been born and bred slaves sang to the Mizzer Humanimals upon learning what kind of lives the Mizzerians had been living (Some of them had even been born Normal Animals and transformed into Humanimals via a machine called ‘The Cauldron’ that sent shivers through every Mizzer Humanimal who thought the days of transforming normal animals into Humanimals were so far gone they may as well be prehistory!) Beulah remembered well the faces of those Slave Humanimals when her Fellow Mizzerians recounted their histories of living in nice suburban homes and eating cooked food for every meal...She saw the Slave Humanimals’ faces twist and distort into disgust and envy...It had to be envy...What else could such wretches feel after hearing about how good the Mizzer Humanimals had it?

Beulah and most of her Fellow Basketball Team Members had been sent to Viola Taiga the Viola Strierra equivalent of Earth’s Taiga located under its own Northern Ice Cap, the Capital City was located within the Voila Taiga and Beulah was sent just Northeast of the Capitol City to a mine The Blue Mine as it was where much Lapis Lazuli had been found and was one of the things Viola Strierra exported to other planets. Beulah had been sent to work in this mine in the forest because as a Dung Beetle she wasn’t worth much anywhere else, no one wanted a Dung Beetle for an Ornamental Slave and since no one wanted a Dung Beetle in a place with lots of Humans around she was sent with several ‘Unattractive’ Insects (Pretty Insects like Butterflies and Moths were kept as valuable Ornamental Slaves) To a place almost no Humans would have to see...Or smell them.

Beulah may not have been pretty to the Humans, but as a burly Beetle she was strong and the fact she ate Manure a substance that was common but no one else wanted, she was super cheap to feed, just give her all the other slaves droppings.

Beulah and her fellow Mizzer Insects would often find themselves in tiny crawl spaces deep within the mine scraping out the precious stone with their strong chitin covered hands, despite their labor, the born and bred slaves never welcomed them into their ranks, they remained cold and distant Beulah would think it was only natural...So great was their envy that they would never accept the Mizzerians as their own.

Then one day as Beulah was in her usual crawl space scraping away...She coughed...Not a small and mild cough...This was a raspy hack.

Gladys Mantis...The Praying Mantis who Beulah had sat beside on the journey to Viola Strierra said peeked into Beulah’s crawlspace “Was that a cough?” The Mantis asked tilting her head as only a mantis can

Beulah was frozen...She realized what that cough meant

“You can’t let the Humans hear you cough.” Gladys said “You know what happens when Humanimals become ill, any Humanimal who sneezes four times or vomits once gets taken to the slaughterhouse.”

“Gladys...” Beulah said tears starting to form in her eyes “...You know no Humanimal can hide their illness from Humans they always find out!”

Indeed the Human Overseers noticed as the Humanimal Workers came out of the Mine for roll call that Beulah seemed paler and thinner than usual. Beulah noticed the Overseers write on their check boards while giving her the side eye. Beulah knew she was doomed.

“I’m scheduled for slaughter...” Beulah told her fellow Mizzer Insects “I don’t know why I’m even here talking to you, normally they take ill Humanimals out of the mine immediately after they identify them as ill.”

“That’s because it is Halloween Night.” Came a deep musical voice

Everyone turned, an Ancient Red Dragon Humanimal stood before they, they had learned this Dragon-Man named Smurgle was the Shaman for the Humanimal Miners, that his duty was to be the Priest for the Wretched Humanimal Slaves even as he himself was a slave, of course none of the Humans were to know he was a Shaman or even know what a Shaman was for if they learned of what Smurgle was preaching to the Slaves he would immediately be executed.

“Because it is a Holiday...” Said Smurgle “The True Men will spend the night eating, drinking and merrymaking and you...Sister Dung Beetle have one chance to escape.”

Beulah’s antennae stood on end “You never once referred to any of us Mizzer Humanimals as ‘Brother or ‘Sister’ you’ve hardly ever spoken to us Mizzerians unless absolutely necessary.”

Smurgle’s ears drooped “I know, I know...” He said “...But...I’m here to tell you there is not only a way you can live but also get off this blasted planet! It only comes once a year on Halloween...”

Smurgle got his face close to the shackle around Beulah’s right ankle and he breathed a small, concentrated flame that would melt the metal around Beulah’s ankle but not hurt Beulah in the slightest.

“If this happens only once a year...” Gladys asked “...Why are you helping her? Why not any of the Native Humanimals?”

“Gladys!” Beulah hissed harshly She felt the Mizzerians should be grateful the Shaman was choosing to help and didn’t want him to be turned away by ingratitude.

“Two things.” Smurgle said “None of us ‘Natives’ as you call us is scheduled for execution but Beulah is, and you know how these stories always are...You give Salvation to the one who truly needs it, not the one you like the most...Karma is something we know to exist Sister Praying Mantis...And I think it is Karma that has caused Beulah to become the one who gets the Golden Opportunity this year...You are right, we have not been kind to you...But also...I think it is more than just Karma that has selected Beulah...For even though this opportunity comes every year hardly any Humanimals ever take it!”

“Why is that?” Beulah asked, if there was a once-a-year chance for life and freedom, why wouldn’t there be crowds of Humanimals lining up for the chance?

“Because the opportunity comes with terror...” Said Smurgle “Remember that it comes on Halloween specifically...I must finish melting your shackle.”

As he did that Beulah gave the side eye at her fellow Mizzerians this had to be like something out a horror movie if so many Humanimals were so terrified! Was it like Dante’s Inferno? Where Humanimals had to travel to Hell and back before being granted Paradise?

Beulah felt the shackle fall off her ankle and Smurgle lifted his massive head

“Every Halloween...” Smurgle said “As sun sets and the moon rises not too far from this mine, where the forest meets the meadow, a House will appear, an ancient mansion with a fence surrounding it...Once a year, one Humanimal can enter the House and must past a series of tests to be granted freedom.”

Beulah said “So you enter a Haunted House and get tested...What are the tests?”

“Riddles.” Said Smurgle “You must answer riddle after riddle.”

One of the Non-Insect Mizzerians a Mongrel Dog named Ike said “Ooh! Like the Hobbit!”

Smurgle had never read The Hobbit said “I’ll have to take your word for that but if the Humanimal solves every riddle they are granted freedom...We will know if your succeed because we will see what looks like a shooting star in the sky, but instead falling down towards the planet, it will be flying up into the heavens!”

Every Mizzerians Eye sparkled hearing that Beulah asked “What happens if a Humanimal fails?”

“No one knows.” Sighed Smurgle said “And that is why they are all so scared...They would rather die in the slaughterhouse then risk it all on something they can barely comprehend in my entire lifetime of 500 years, only two Humanimals took the Golden Opportunity and both succeeded, one was a Dragon-Man my best friend and brother in spirit, he communicated in dreams to me that what the tests were, ere riddles and the 2nd one was an Arctic Wolf-Man named Barricade, he was not scheduled for execution, on the contrary he had just come of age and was about to begin his lifetime of slavery...He remembered me telling the tale of my friend’s experience when he was a Cub and he feared no Ghost or Ghoul or any Supernatural Spook, what he feared was a lifetime of slavery, so he picked the lock of the chain that bound him and trotted over the house and succeeded.

“Hmmm.” Beulah placed her hand under her chin “I’m starting to think that the tests aren’t that hard.”

“You are our hope.” Said Smurgle “For if you succeed you can potentially find a way to get help so the rest of us can be liberated.”

Beulah bid every goodbye and left the Slaves’ Quarters