Can We Talk 2

Holding On With Both Hands

         On Sunday, I spoke to an older friend who is easy going and very friendly. (He played baseball before blacks were allowed to play on white teams.) He can't drive any more, and lives at a senior home. I asked if he was hanging in there. He grinned and answered, "I'm holding on with both hands."

         He made me laugh. I liked the sound of that. You don't have to be in your 80's or 90's to be holding on with both hands. You make the most of life, whatever your abilities, or limitations. No matter how old you get, or tied up in health issues or family members' issues, you still have the same basic needs and wants. You still want to be respected, to be cared for, to love and be loved. You still need friends. You need to feel needed and appreciated.

         I personally have this fantasy about falling in love again before I die. He has to be honest, respectable, thoughtful, and stable. you know, the usual. He doesn't need to be rich or live in a big house. But at my age, all the men are either married or worn out. I know what you're thinking. They look at me and think that I'm worn out. Maybe, I acknowledge that. But that doesn't make the thought go away. Meanwhile, I have family responsibilities from which I cannot escape, even for a weekend. So this fantasy doesn't even make the bucket list.

         So, we all need to find workable ways to hold on with both hands. Working or retired or raising children, healthy or struggling, we have to hold on to life like we really mean it. Fun has to be a part of our lives. Encouraging others, complimenting them, or thanking them is one way to feel better about ourselves. Working through the aches and pains, and misunderstandings is part of holding on. Not shopping so that you can pay a bill, that's holding on. A positive attitude is so important to our well-being.

         I tend to gripe, but that's a bad thing. I have to talk myself into letting go quite often. "Letting go" of my hurt feelings or my anger, so much easier said than done, is another way of holding onto life, of being more satisfied with my years. I'm discovering as I think about the rest of my life, whether it's one month, one decade, or another 30 years, what I want most is to feel satisfied I've led a good life. I don't want to be in survival mode kind of hanging on. I want to have some gusto and meaning as I hang on with both hands.