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My Journey from Mental Illness to Mental Wellness |
That which remains hidden to man is revealed by God in due time. Window grazing I watched on the outside, my mouth pierced my lips exposed, I waited to see, my eyes are opened peering through a window of glass I I stood on two feet that wanted to lift my stature higher so others could see The bus goes by and I am not on it. Why again am I left behind? How will I know it is my time to join this mass of humanity and learn? How will I know that I will be chosen at all, that people like me matter? Alone on the back seat of the bus, staring out the window, recalling the boy who once stood at the window wondering if he would ever belong. I have come to some healthy conclusions. After almost two years of searching in a strange city called Erie, I have arrived and am arriving at a place I call "withness". It is a place that I belong with others who once were like the boy looking out the window wondering what it was like to belong. There others like me who ask the same questions and live to see in the mirror the image of God. People spend time with these persons despite the limits others might impose. My book now has teeth. It starts with a populance on the outside looking in and wanting to belong and then over time discovering they are being called to be a part of a larger community. It now makes sense that God's word says that Jesus will come and be called Emmanuel meaning "God with us". We as a collective bunch underestimate God's ability to get our attention. So I see the scars of the resurrected Lord. There are marks of hands, feet and side. Jesus understands. He knows the plight of people who do not understand there reason for being there and calls up these persons to reach out and join him and exposing the myth that anyone has to be on the outside looking in. God came to do an inside job, which I can finally name withness. God is with me as he God is with the ones that I care for in his name. We join to share that there is a reason to celebrate community. That does not mean there are not bumps and bruises along the way. I have been told verbally and non verbally that I may have been a mistake. Others experience the same. I have one guy I work with who lived with a mom who scalded him with hot water when he had seizures, because in her mind he was demon possessed. I have my eyes open not just to witness and see, I want to participate in seeing God's will done. I want to see others to join God in a withness project. Let's love those who would not know God otherwise. That is the new game in town. Sports teams like the Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins will win in lose. In God's time we can all win as we trust to see how those once deemed as mistakes become the reason for being alive. It is finally as God intended for it to be, back to the beginning. There is a witness to withness. God can not and never does create alone. We are participants in the process with God longing with labor pangs until the Spirit of God gives birth in and through us. |