Shadow Puppet Storyteller

It's Time to Twist and Shout

It makes me wonder if a correlation or pattern exists between the natural "slowing with age" (READ AS: real physical activity) and the motivation in someone's heart. If you were a member of my imaginary expedition team, would you take the raw data of my blog posts, and consider their frequency, their purposefulness: whether I am writing entries that are insightful or just silently raging, and measure them against ... I don't know ... whatever the control group for "productive" writers looks like

Then report back to me -- Is our expedition doomed?

It was slightly more than a year ago that I made an entry regarding my husband, and included more personal information than I would usually disclose. Yet the title, including the word "vomit" must explain what it was. Temporary violent illness. Not a reflection of my true self or even close to the truth of our love. The use of factual details has often been a scary thing for me, even as I consider writing a memoir. Perhaps It was important for me to just let some ugliness show, as proof that I could go there; share from that place.

It is a little shocking to me that I could have written this less than a week following our wedding anniversary, but I do know it was informed by a decision by a grant-making entity that we were not able to receive their assistance due to my husband's continued inability to work. I was more pissed at the charity group than at my husband, really.

But my long-time partner is not stupid. We now find ourselves in a better pole position if you will. We can do the happy dance on that harsh turn-down memory since he has started working by driving locally for Lyft. And we divested ourselves of reliance on storage. We have less, but in choosing that, we have more, as well. So days away from Valentine's Day, I do not look for special treats. Instead I am looking forward to just recommitting to what our passions truly are. I am hoping he and I both can write and be honest or at least inform some powerful fiction with reality.