Can We Talk 2

You Might Need To Think About a Nursing Home

         Garrison Keillor said that if you can put on your underwear without toppling over, you aren't ready for the nursing home. To put that another way, if you might need to start thinking about a nursing home if you fall over when you try to put your underwear on. Sort of a "You might be a redneck..." thing. Only, we don't say nursing home for all seniors these days. It's a senior community. Within that community, you can have a nursing home, independent living, an Alzheimer's unit,and assisted living. So I'll just say a senior community.

         With that in mind, I've started a list, with Keillor's as number one.

         You might need to think about a senior community if you can't go at least one day a week without losing your glasses car keys, or cell phone.

         , , , if you see one of your grandchildren, and you have to list all your children and grandkids to come up with the right name.

         , , , if you can't remember whether you've had breakfast and it's only ten a.m.

          , , , if your favorite TV show is still The Smothers Brothers Hour.

          , , , if you can remember a Shakespeare soliloquy or all the songs from a musical, but you can't remember what you did yesterday.

          , , , if your cell phone contacts are all doctors' numbers.

          , , , if most of your junk mail and computer pop-ups involve medicare supplements, reverse mortgages, hearing loss or incontinence.

          , , , if you limit your all shopping to certain days so that you can get the senior discount.

          , , , if your menu is determined by what gives you gas or heartburn.

          , , , if the most exciting thing you did last week was to get new bifocals.

          , , , if you go shopping at the mall, then get your exercise walking around afterwards trying to remember where you parked the car.

          , , , if you're telling a story, get side-tracked, and can't remember what you were talking about.

          , , , if you're telling a story and one of your kids tells you that you're already told that story several times today.

Oh, yes. There is much more. Just something to think about. We're all speeding in that direction.