Evolution of love

INTIMACY

TS: Now Adya, here in this conversation, when you were talking about these awakening moments, markers, turning points in your life, you actually were quite moved—emotionally moved. I’m here with you, so I can see it in your face, hear it in your voice. What’s going on for you, that you’ve had this . . . ?

A: That’s a really good question, Tami. I don’t actually know, and the reason I say this is, I don’t talk about this stuff a lot, but I do share it when I feel it’s useful. In the early days, shortly after this stuff [occurred], it would create a kind of emotion, because there’s a kind of poignancy and significance.

It’s like the deepest jewel you have, you’re sharing [it] with somebody. It’s more meaningful to you than you could ever describe. But for years—I would say for the better part of 10 or 15 years—I haven’t really gotten emotional when I’ve described it. So it was as much a surprise to me as it was to you or to anybody else.

I don’t know why I felt that, but the poignancy of it was what I was really experiencing. I just felt how valuable it is to me. How valuable. Not the past, but how it’s living now, that’s almost like—maybe it has to do with age, also. It’s almost like feeling that the older you get, you realize the gifts that you’ve been given and you appreciate them. You know? It’s a different time of life. I’m 52 instead of 32. Maybe that’s some of it too.