GoT Writings

Caged RED Wedding Challenge - Winner

Caged
Tammy awoke in her vomit. She did not have the strength or will to clean it up. Instead she managed to pull herself onto her bed and to twist herself into a somewhat seated position. The stench of the vomit infused her nostril. She put her hand up to see if her face was still there. Tears welled up in her eyes when she felt the vomit that caked on her face and hair. She slowly raised her head and let it drop against the headboard, and repeated this for several minutes until the pain penetrated her beer-soaked brain that this hurt.
“Mark! You made me like this! I hate you!” That was a mistake. The screeching left her head throbbing and her voice cracked. Three husbands and each worse than the one before. She never could figure out why love always ended up in such a mess for her. What hurt the most is that she loved the first one the most and he just did not have the same drive and ambition as she. The other two squashed the drive and ambition to nothing.
The tears flowed down her face as Tammy let her mind wonder back to her beautiful years. She never touched alcohol until she started working at the upscale restaurant called Charlie’s. As she thought back to those early years, Tammy wished she had a time machine where she could skip meeting Mark, without that mistake she would not have met Lee, the source of her current torture. The memories came flooding back -- a co-worker introduced Tammy to Mark, “Chris, I hate you for unloading you deadbeat boyfriend on me. You must have hated me to do that.”
Tammy did not want to remember that anymore. She scooted down to a prone position so that she could stare at the ceiling and hoped that her head would quit spinning. Her head fell to the side and her eyes landed on an unopened bottle of Murphy’s Irish Red beer. Ever since the first time she admitted she was an alcoholic; she could not tolerate the taste of domestic beer. She could afford to pay a little more for the more expensive imported beer from her father’s homeland, and that is what she would do.
The need for the bottle was too intense. Tammy sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed and let them land in vomit. She reached the bottle and bottle opener with her shaky hands. She sat and looked at the bottle and with heavy sigh popped the cap and took a long drink, and let the liquid slide down her throat. She closed her eyes to acknowledge the release of the cloying tugs that the addiction had on her. She embraced the bottle and its contents as she would a valued treasure that she did not want to relinquish. Even the smell of this liquid heaven sated her frayed nerves.
The sound of the telephone ringing came through the fogginess of her awareness and she debated whether to answer it or not. She fumbled for a pair of glasses that she kept on the nightstand so that she could see the caller ID. She did not want to talk to her son. He could always tell when she had been drinking and she did not like disappointing him.
She wished she had never married his father, Mark. It was a mistake getting involved with him just to spite Chris, and an even bigger one to marry him. She was pregnant, alone and scared. She could still hear the titters of her girlfriends at the wedding. Chris was teasing her, “Tammy, the bible in the living room is upside down! This is so hysterical!” At the time, she thought Chris was trying to get Mark back. She wished she had let Chris win and not married Mark.
Tammy came out of her reverie as the answering machine kicked in. Her son knew. “Hi, Mom, it’s me, Jerry. Call me when you’re sober.”
The shame swept over her again. She let out a deep sigh and thought that if she worked hard, she would be sober by noon – wait, it was noon. She no longer cared.
Her life seemed to swirl between periods of sobriety and black out drunkenness. Her life had shown such promise and was ending in such a mess. She wished fervently that she had never divorced her first husband. But she wanted children and he didn’t. The second one stole her only child, and this third one was just a liar and cheat, with him living on the other side of the country. She could sure pick ‘em.
She lovingly put the half-empty bottle on her nightstand. She told herself that this beer was too expensive to waste and she would not waste it. In truth, she loved the beer so much that it would never be stale or flat to her need for it. If she were true to form, she would be half-way sober by the end of her shower. If she were true to form, she would clean up the mess and hide the evidence her disgrace.
Tammy was proud of herself as she closed her bedroom door after making it presentable again. Her head was no longer throbbing and her hands were not shaking so badly, before long she would plant a smile on her face and chat merrily with the neighbors and merchants who she would meet as she went to the nearby liquor store to pick up some more beer. She had to do this when she was sober so that no questions or whispered gossip would follow her. It made sense to her. She convinced herself that the lies she told to the merchants about why she went through so much alcohol were believed. No one was fooled, but the merchants played along in this pretend display because their desire to make a sale was greater than their care that she was an alcoholic. This game had two winners.
Her plans were interrupted by her cheery message on the answering machine. At the beep, she heard Lee’s voice, “Hi, Tammy. It’s me, Lee. Call me when you’re sober.” Tammy bridled at the sneering tone of his voice. She did not care about his convenience. She would let him wait several hours before she returned his call. She knew he was going to give her an ultimatum and she really was not interested in hearing it when she was not feeling well.
Tammy hated Lee for calling the Sheriff for a good check visit. She sat on the stool by the window and became very still. She only knew that she did not want contact with the police and they would leave if they could not hear or see movement in the house. Tammy exhaled in a heavy sigh when they finally left.
This is how far Tammy’s life had plummeted. She was a caged animal. Her life was spent foraging for her daily supply of beer, and staying out of sight and thought of her predators.
She grabbed her phone and dialed the number. He had to be told. Jerry listened patiently to her rant. She stopped long enough to ask, “How could things go so wrong? I hate all of them. They promised to love me forever, and then they hurt me.”
“Mom ….”
“Don’t take their side! I hate them. They’re evil liars. They said they loved me, but they don’t.” She did not hear him say that he loved her.
“Mom …”
“I have to go now. I’ll go you tomorrow when I am not so sick. Good bye, Jerry. I love you.” She did not wait for Jerry to say anything back. When the line was dead, she whispered into the air, “I need a drink.”
[w.c.:1314]




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