Selah // Something Witty

A sliver of your cry could make a river against my pride.

Date: 08.12.17 - Day 48
Music: "River" / The Belle Game

I've played this song at least a hundred times this past week. My body has been a judas. My insurance has been playing games with my medications. One student in crisis; one making a difficult transition after graduating. It feels at times like I haven't been able to breathe, literally and metaphorically, because of the fires around me. But, by God, I had this song. There's something about Andrea Lo's voice that speaks to my soul. It's so nice, I listed it twice.

One thing I've been able to do quite a bit of during my down time is outline. Outlining isn't one of my strengths, especially in the beginning. When a story springs on me, it's usually right in the middle. I have to move my mental camera to see what came first, and progress to how things will end. Maybe it's my brain or the stories, but I've actually been able to plot some recently. It's kind of amazing. I almost don't want to say anything out loud in case I'm going to jinx it.

I like complicated characters. I like the unfurling of them as they work out things. Sometimes it's just the slog of an unending uphill battle, and sometimes it's the silence that finally gets them to work through their stuff. I'm working on two characters now, completely unrelated, but they share one particular trait in common, which focuses on the need to keep moving forward no matter the damage they've been served. The thing is, though courageous and life-saving at times, it also is its own kind of pain. There are consequences to not dealing with certain things, and a large part of their stories are about to getting to the bottom of those consequences.

We write what we know, right? Maybe I'll absorb some of what that actually means someday. I'm just so tired.