Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Things That Happened In School This Year I Didn't See Coming

First year at a new school in a new town going from 8th to 6th grade.

I've taught 13 years so I thought I had been exposed to about everything, which just goes to show you I'm a slow learner. What I should have learned is there is always going to be something unexpected.

Here is my top 4 of 2016/17:

1. I depants myself while teaching during the 3rd week of school. I had lost some weight, and made the poor decision to wear spanks with slick pants. So I'm walking around the room, teaching, engaging blah blah blah. I pause and actually say, "What do I keep stepping on?" Yep, it was my pants, all the way down to my ankles. No idea just how long they had been falling. So I verbalize it, because I rarely have an unexpressed thought. "Well, dang! My pants fell down." Of course, I'm trying desperately to pull them up, but you know how it is the more you need to do something the longer it takes you. It was not a pretty sight. No doubt the kids were scarred as much as I was.

2. Two boys put a paperclip in an outlet to see if it really would shock you. It does, as well as shoot a flame up the wall. Where was I? (No, not pulling up my pants again.) Talking with another student about why you are not allowed to sell Takis at school.

3. This one is terrible. I was being observed my the superintendent; this usually doesn't bother me. I don't put on a dog and pony show; I just teach. Well, I must have been a little nervous with being a new school and all, because while going over the emergency procedures instead of saying evacuate the building, I said ejaculate the building. I just kept going praying the kids weren't listening and the superintendent didn't catch it. He must not have because I still have a job.

4. A group of boys met in the bathroom before school and put koolaid packet mix in their mouths to see who could keep it in there the longest. Apparently, it came out in a great spray of blue all over the mirrors, sinks, and floors. They thought I was a genius when I figured out who had done it. Considering, their teeth and lips are probably still stained blue, I didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes.

But, overall it was a great year and provided me with some wonderfully entertaining stories.

Thank goodness for summer,
Audra

Gratitudes:
1. I appreciate the smells and sounds of rain.
2. I am thankful for long baths.
3. I value my quiet mornings.
4. I am thankful for books that pull you in from the beginning.