Melting Snow

Creation Saturday: Barthelme's Birthhday Present

Saturday, June 3, 2017

“The difference between style and fashion is quality.”
Giorgio Armani

The "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  prompt for DAY 1176
It's a creation Saturday and I have some interesting words from my favorite link on the internet, the random word generator.

Appointment, hemlock, whisper, blade, drunken, fight, and desire

Barthelme's Birthday Present

A ray of sunlight, like a prize-fighter's fist, struck Bart in his right eye waking him from a dreamless sleep. "Angelia," he mumbled setting up and looking around for his wife. She was gone, and the only indication she had ever been in the room was her pink fuzzy robe hanging on the doorknob. Pushing himself up, he stumbled to the window, and closed the vertical blinds.

As he started back to bed, he noticed, a pastel pink, envelope laying on the nightstand. Sighing, he picked it up, opened it, and removed the Whisper of Hemlock scented note.

Dear Barthelme,

I have an early morning appointment with Mrs. J. After that, I'm going to the laundromat to do a couple of loads. I don't know when I'll be back, so please don't leave the house until after the cute guy in the sexy UPS uniform delivers your birthday present.

Love,
Angelia

P.S. If you want to open the package today it's alright with me. Just make sure you're wearing one of the items when I get home.

"Well," he grumbled, looking down at his naked body. "I suppose I'll have time for a cup of java before I have to look presentable for the UPS guy." He slipped his feet into Angelia's pink bunny slippers, put on her robe, and went into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee.

Just as he was pouring himself a mug, the doorbell ring. Shaking his head, he ambled into the living room, and opened the apartment door.

"Cute outfit, Sir," the UPS man smirked. "Please, sign here." Bart signed his name and then took the box.

Placing the box on the coffee table he looked around for the letter opener, but the only thing he could see was the antique switchblade, Angelia's father had left her. He picked up the knife, and extended the blade in order to open the package. He stared in disbelief, as he removed three pairs of lace shorts from RompHim1.

Picking up the house smartphone from the coffee table, he dialed his wife's number. "Angelia, Sweet Heart, when will you be home?"

"What do you mean?"

"Angelia, I don't have anything to wear to the Beef Un Brew."

"Yes, the package arrived. Yes, I like the lace shorts they're very sexy, but I'm not wearing them to the Beef Un Brew!"

"Because I have no desire to wear them in public especially since all my Jockey© shorts are in the laundry."

"Angelia, I AM NOT going to go commando in those lace shorts. At least, not outside of this apartment."

"Why aren't you allowed into the Beef Un Brew without me?"

"You got into a drunken bar fight with one of the food servers. Now why doesn't that surprise me." He disconnected and went into the kitchen to finish his coffee.

Footnotes
1  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lace-shorts-men_us_593183eee4b02478cb9ae333