Selah // Something Witty

I never took off my chains; they never took my colors.

Date: 05.30.17 -- Day 37
Music: "Let It Drop" / The Kills

So begins a long month of travel...California at the beginning of June; Washington, DC at the end of June, early July.

This time of year has always been frustrating since I reached college because this is the quarter/semester where things come to an end, and everyone is in a rush to get things over and done with. Working in higher education only compounds the problem because we've reached graduation season. The biggest thing is trying not to get overly annoyed and be in a present state-of-mind for the good, celebratory times. I have students who are graduating, and I am so proud I could shout to the moon. And my little sister is graduating high school, which is why I'm hoping on a plane during my busiest work season. These are important milestones and I have the honor to be there to witness these things. It's just keeping everything in prospective.

Traveling, for me, takes a great deal of planning as my body just isn't what it used to be. This trip to California involves several planes and buses in 100 degree summer heat. And it's a relatively quick trip so I need to be on my toes. Logistics can definitely be a pain, but this is essentially the same trip I take twice a year since I moved out of state. It's time-consuming but something I could do in my sleep. It's the trip to DC that worries me because I've never been, I'm relying on family I'll be meeting for the first time, and it's during a busy holiday weekend, so I'm more nervous about those unknown factors than anything else. Disabled, working, and traveling is a complicated dance to be sure.

I think the biggest thing will be trying to keep my head in the game. It's been a struggle these past couple of months, trying to deal with old baggage. Things have been popping up more and more, and honestly, the depression and PTSD having been controlling more of my days than I would like. Trauma is never easy; trauma does not wait for a convenient schedule. If only it would take a break so I can get through this next month. I need to revise papers for students, make sure my mother's care while I'm gone is stable, make connections for planes, cheer through graduation ceremonies, and navigate a hundred other interactions while trying to get my body to chill. I don't have time for the mind mess even though it has plenty of time for me. Just gotta stay in the moment.

And so begins a long month of travel.