Melting Snow

War Chest Wednesday: Uncle Festus Cometh

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Ring of Fire Lyrics  

The War Chest Wednesday prompt for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 
Holiday fireworks at being held at your house this year. Your Uncle Festus, who served time in prison for arson, will be in attendance. What do you tell your guests and family to look out for?

Uncle Festus Cometh

Uncle Festus is on his way,
so all of you just be calm and wear asbestos
outer and underwear.

Since we can never be too cautious,
when Uncle Festus
is out of the state pen,
please bring fire extinguishers,
and leave all your matches
or cigarette lighters
at home.

There will be no smoking,
of any kind,
in my house while Uncle Festus
is in attendance;
if you feel a nicotine fit
coming on
then get in your car
and drive two miles from the house
before lighting up.

In addition,
there will be no
playing or singing
songs that mention fire.