Evolution of love

MEETING PHYSICAL PAIN

The citta (consciousness) that is continuously unified in samãdhi is always even and unperturbed. It feels completely satiated. Because of the very compact and concentrated sense of inner unity, everyday thoughts and emotions no longer make an impact. In such a state, the mind has no desire to think about anything. Completely peaceful and contented within itself, nothing is felt to be lacking.

In such a state of continuous calm and concentration, the citta becomes very powerful. While the mind was previously hungry to experience thoughts and emotions, it now shuns them as a nuisance. Before it was so agitated that it couldn’t stop thinking and imagining even if it wanted to.

From then on I accelerated my efforts. It was at that time that I began sitting in meditation all night long, from dusk until dawn.

While sitting one night I started focusing inward as usual. Because it had already developed a good, strong foundation, the citta easily entered into samãdhi. So long as the citta rested there calmly, it remained unaware of external bodily feelings.

But when I withdrew from samãdhi many hours later I began to experience them in full. Eventually, my body was so racked by severe pain that I could hardly cope. The citta was suddenly unnerved, and its good, strong foundation completely collapsed. The entire body was filled with such excruciating pain that it quivered all over.

Thus began the bout of hand-to-hand combat that gave me insight into an important meditation technique. Until the unexpected appearance that night of such severe pain, I had not thought of trying to sit all night. I had never made a resolution of that kind. I was simply practicing seated meditation as I normally did, but when the pain began to overwhelm me, I thought: “Hey, what’s going on here? I must make every effort to figure out this pain tonight.”
So I made the solemn resolve that no matter what happened I would not get up from my seat until dawn of the next day. I was determined to investigate the nature of pain until I understood it clearly and distinctly. I would have to dig deep. But, if need be, I was willing to die in order to find out the truth about pain.