Selah // Something Witty

Running on wild.

Date: 04.17.17 -- Day 35
Music: "Running On Wild" / Hot As Sun

It's been so hectic. So very hectic.

I've had to make the decision to drop from the 30-Day Blogging Challenge, much to my regret as all the free time I thought I was going to have had evaporated into thin air. Such is the life as Spring Quarter arrives. Idk what it is about SQ that makes things such a frenzy. It's the weird combination of hope and dread. Spring is in the air, things are blooming everywhere, and there's a potential for sun, which is a huge plus in the Pacific Northwest. But there's also this rush because the sun is finally shining. No one wants to be a classroom when there's a choice sunny day. It reminds of how my eldest brother used to listen to wave reports, in the morning, when he was surfing. If the waves were sweet, everyone knew getting him to go back to class after lunch was impossible. With such a cold winter, people are craving the sun like nobody's business.

It's also graduation season. I'm not graduating, so I don't feel the push, but I have one student who is about to get his degree, so the pressure to make sure he gets to the finish line is always there in the back of my mind. He's been emotionally exhausted for the better part of the year. He's worked so hard to get where he's going, so there's so much sympathy for him. But I'm his coach. I can't let the sympathy override the objective. My job involves 50% listening, 35% scolding, and 15% relaying of facts. So the conversations switch between laying down the law and pep talks. For each student it's different. Everyone has their own unique combination they need to get them through to their goal. For him, he needs an older sister. Luckily, I can do that, so it works out. Hopefully.

If it were just work and class, things might be a bit easier, but it's work and class and my judas of a body and my brain running on fumes and appointments and my mom's care and and and...It's the grind of being a disabled adult. I constantly need to catch myself from what feels like whining. I'm just so tired, you know? I feel like I'm "on" all the time. The fact that this is my busiest season doesn't help. But I've done this before. I can do this again. If only it didn't seem so damn daunting.