Sandy Supposes....

I Prefer Attacks From Charlie Horses...

PROMPT: Would you rather be attacked by one ten-foot horse, or ten one-foot horses? State your preference and explain yourself.

         Er, um, not that I'm an equine expert, but aren't the heights of horses measured in hands? It's kinda ridiculous to fear the attack of an animal that could be as tall as ten of my little hands... I just examined my hand, and it's six whole inches in length, so ten of these multiplied by six would equal sixty inches, or five feet. A horse with these measurements would be shorter than me... huh? Something is off here... I've hitched a ride on a few horses, and they were all taller than me. Why would I have burdened a smaller animal? Whose gigantic hands are gauging the size of horses? Is this mythical ten-foot horse measured by a hand one-foot in length? Wait, I'm confused...surely the prompt is not suggesting a horse with ten feet/hooves? Okay, this horse is taller than me, so it's large...Hmm... my initial response is neither. I would rather not be attacked by any horse, of any size. Like I stated, I'm not a horsey person, so my question is this: do horses attack? Did I provoke this horse, or horses? Is there a defence?

          What actions would a horse employ to attack? Could they chomp, stomp, karate kick, or trample? Oh, perhaps they'd throw their ample and considerable weight around, and pin me to the ground like a wrestling body slam. Maybe a head butt would be possible? All of these sound painful, and avoidable. If delivered by the bigger prompt option, this attack is potentially extremely painful. My odds for survival would diminish, too. One horse with four slashing legs is better than ten horses, all be it tiny horses, with the equivalent of forty striking legs.

         Huh, I really don't like my choices here. I'm no scrapper, but I believe I'd fare better with one big animal. I could manage to keep my eyes on one moving assailant. Ten could scuttle, scurry, and sneak. They'd more than likely operate as a pack, a team. I'd be battling a blitz. Little creatures are able to fit into every available nook and cranny. The big fella would be somewhat hampered by his bulk. I stand a fighting chance of ducking and covering, okay cowering, in a space too small for him to enter, and reach me.

         Ya, a ten-foot tall horse couldn't discover too many hidey holes in which to lay wait, and surprise me. I suppose I'd hear him thrashing about more than I'd hear ten separate teeny tiny light-on-their-hooves horses. Hey, the ground would probably shake with each step of the giant. I just can't see him tip-toeing.

         Is something one-foot tall capable of attacking? What about the cuteness factor? Don't we associate small with harmless? Oh, I forgot the ten sets of snapping teeth... like Chihuahua nips, or piranha bites?

Now if I was forced to take evasive action who would I prefer to evade? Not that I could ever out run any horse, especially the one with legs the diameter of my body, but how could I hope to have the stamina to continue moving against ten? They could take turns resting, and attacking me in endless tag teams.

         What are my anti-attack options? If I attempted to kick a horse, I'd be side-lined by a charley-horse, and they are seriously excruciating. Biting? Please the horseflies have more luck inflicting discomfort, and extracting their pound of horse flesh. There is bear spray, and pepper spray, and mace... the pepper could induce a sneezing fit in the big horse. What's a riding crop? Would a sound thwack across the nose stop a horse attack?

         So, this like a death by one super cut, or a thousand miniature cuts... size and strength versus numbers... I believe I still prefer one on one. Is there any chance that this "attack" is a verbal one?