Sandy Supposes....

Weird is as weird does...

PROMPT: FUN FACT FRIDAY Dying is illegal in The House of Parliament--- This has been voted as the most ridiculous law by British citizens. What's your take? What weird laws exist on the books where you live? If you could write a weird law, what would it be?

         I'm quite flabbergasted that this particular British farce suggestion law hasn't been lampooned by Monty Python. I can picture a waiting group of eager tourists lined up obediently in anticipation of a tour. They are chuffed with the idea of strolling hallways where England's greatest law-makers pace. An over-zealous Guide, natty in his uniform, zeros in on an elderly gentleman. To his critical eye, the white-haired man's frail frame, quaking, and heavy-leaning on a cane indicate his questionable health. When this chap begins wheezing and gasping, the official senses this tottering tourist is a little too long in the tooth for his liking.

          Ushering the senior away from the line with a firm grasp on an elbow, the Guide briskly says, "Oy then, sir, if you please, we'll have none of that dying here. It's illegal. Perish the thought." Despite the protestations of, "I'm not dead, yet", the determined Guide persists. "You just take your imminent demise elsewhere."

          My Gawd, the audacity of citizens presuming to expire in The Houses of Parliament. Some people are just unbelievably cheeky, and boorishly rude. Even in death, one should uphold the laws of the land. There are quite enough messes in Parliament as it is.

          Weird and wondrous laws do exist here in Canada. Why should our citizenry be shackled with common sense? Apparently, in Sudbury, Ontario it's illegal to attach a siren to your bike... Um, I'm not certain that the type of siren has been explained. Are we talking about an ambulance wail, or a fire truck whoop, or a police car's squawk, or an air raid warning? Who thought that this had to become an official law? Was there really a worry that some bicycle-pedalling kid would install an ear-blasting siren? Would this same kid then attend accident scenes imitating the rescue vehicles? Would his/her siren be powered by pedal? What next... no flashing red and blue lights permitted on a bike?

          Petrolia, Ontario is a party-pooper place. "Yelling, shouting, hooting, whistling or singing is prohibited at all times." Huh, what a chipper, upbeat sort of community... Can we say, no fun? Are there no pep rallies, sporting events, and cheerleaders? Please no public hoorahs, just simple, silent pats on the backs. Smiling may be permitted if discreet. Certain feathered friends are discouraged within city limits: owls, blue birds of happiness, whipperwills, larks, robins, etc. Absolutely no protests, or flash mobs permitted. Sedate celebrations are encouraged, and appreciated. Disagreements are discouraged.

         Hmm, imagine me enacting a law? Weird, or wonderful? I admit to missing the good ol' days when people actually wore their underwear under their street clothes. You know, it was where it oughta be, out of sight. The entire mystery of boxers, or briefs was as it should be. Boxers are now bold. I fail to see why crotches now cripple knees. How comfortable/practical is it to cinch a pair of over-sized denim jeans around your thighs, or knees? Hobbling is not a macho look. I kinda like the name: Cover Your Ass(ets). Perhaps the punishment/deterrent should be the wearing of suspenders in public. Law officers could refer to the enforcement campaign as Brace Your Britches.