Chris' Christian Blog

Happy....and Scared

"Happy....and Scared" 

I had an event occur today that left me with mixed emotions. On one hand it has me very sad and concerned. On the other hand I'm elated and ready to bubble over with happiness.

I have been dating the same girl through an online relationship for some time. In fact I've grown to care for her very deeply. The problem is that I have yet to see an on line relationship actually work out. I have been a widower for over two years now. I have grown somewhat accustomed to living alone but I certainly still don't like it. When my wife passed I went nuts for a while as anybody would. Then I began slowly dating again. I know that's what she would have wanted. The problem is that I don't drink and the best place to pick up dates is usually in bars. Therefore I had to find a alternative to the bar scene to find dates. I turned to the only other viable resource I could think of: the Internet. Making use of social media I began to make contact with women all over the world. In the time I've been dating I have dated dozens of women online. The number one result has been that after one or two times of chatting on line they have asked for money to buy groceries or something else. I'm not on line looking for people to give money to nor am I going to give money to a woman and allow the relationship to be built on the depth of my wallet!

The second biggest result I've found is that they will go for months never asking for a thing. They slowly lead you into a deep relationship with them. They tell you how much they love you and slowly break down your defenses. Then you begin to make plans to meet them. In order to meet you though they need a VISA from another country and air fare to come to you. This is known as the classic love con. The con artist will spend months winning your confidence before asking for anything. Well it has never worked on me because I simply don't have it to send. I wouldn't if I could.

The woman I have been talking to recently is a human rights worker with the United Nations. She is in Africa now. We made plans to spend Christmas together this year. She was to leave Africa on the 20th and arrive here sometime on the 21st. It didn't happen. The last contact I had with her she was traveling by car to the country from which she would be leaving. The 20th came and went and I heard nothing from her. The 21st and 22nd also passed. At this point I started to believe she was just another con artist with some hidden agenda.

Today, December 23 I received a phone call that changed my mind. It was from a hospital in Africa. The car she had been riding in had encountered a bad accident. She's hospitalized in serious but stable condition. The doctor said they had found my name and phone number in her diary. They asked if I had any knowledge of her medical history. I told them what little I knew about her.

One can see then why I have ambiguous feelings about the situation. I know that she was telling me the truth. She was trying to come home for Christmas. She asked nothing from me. Thus I am elated to know that I have a girlfriend with no hidden agenda. I'm saddened and anxious however because she is hurt and hospitalized. The driver of her car was killed. So while I am happy she's alive and happy that she loves me I am scared for her safety and health.