Sandy Supposes....

The Great Equalizer

PROMPT:THE SUNDAY NEWS! This Sunday your challenge is to pick a news story and start a conversation about it. What are your thoughts on the subject? Do you feel that others will agree? If so, why? If not, why not?

         Just insert suitable curse words here... my original blog post for today she disappeared. One minute, it was saved, and then poof, it was gone. It didn't make it to posting. WT???? Sigh, grumble, I shall start anew...

          MSN did not disappoint today. There was a plethora, a treasure trove of news stories to peruse and ponder. This tantalizing tidbit beckoned, but I decided to read elsewhere. 'The health benefits (and risks) of farting'. Really? School boys will be vindicated, I'm sure. Meh, boys will be boys, and they do need to blow off steam. No more will mothers or teachers glare when they hear a now justifiable, "I couldn't help it." Perhaps young men will no longer be referred to as 'obnoxious', but just 'noxious'.

         Of course, of course, there was political propaganda to wade through. 'Is the FBI working for Trump?' 'Trump rushed off stage in Nevada.' 'Trump Jr. retweets assassination attempt against father.' Who in their right mind would try to martyr Trump? He has thick skin. He's survived the character assassination he claims to be a victim of, and he gives as good as he gets. He seems to have mastered the prerequisite mud-slinging.

          Ah, here is more health news, '24 natural weapons that fight belly fat.' Wouldn't a natural weapon be a stick, or a rock? Don't overweight people beat themselves up enough over their size? Why are words like 'attack' used to describe the battle of the bulge? It all sounds so brutal, and bruising. Does fat fear violence? Is this just particular to belly fat? Why not all fat? I recall that it's "sticks and stones will break my bones." I'm all for it if threatening muffin tops with a scary stick works.

          Here's a headline spouses, male spouses, will appreciate. 'Things you've been doing wrong all your life.' Someone decided to promote this to an MSN news page? What specifically are these 'things'? It's such a broad topic, or is that a topic espoused by 'broads'? There was a related news item. Supposedly, older persons use the word 'thingy' when they forget the name of an item. My Mother preferred the wonderful word 'doo-hickey-thing-a-ma-bob'.

          'Runner in Red Deer chases down bike thief in epic capture.' Meh, I'm not impressed. By the time I've pedalled, wobbled, steered, and remembered to breathe, a walker, no a stroller, could catch me on a bicycle.

         'Alien hunters claim they found a dead woman on Mars.' Was it Amelia Earhart? That would solve a decades-old mystery. Perhaps it was Alice? Her hubby did threaten her with, " To the moon, Alice. `Yes, it`s a wee bit off course, but he was a bus driver, not an astronaut. And, seriously, the woman was `dead`... I think it would have been slightly more newsworthy if she`d been found `àlive`.

          There was a headline about The Change... `Daylight saving 2016: more pedestrians hit in the week after fall time change.` Really... Someone just noticed that walkers are less visible in the dark. Drivers` eyes haven`t yet adjusted.

         Fear not, I persevered. Aha, now, here`s a news story! `New injectable birth control for men.` Interesting... According to this online article, hey, if it`s on the internet it must be the gospel truth, a one-year study on 350 lab rats, guinea pigs, um, eager men resulted in only four of their partners becoming pregnant after the male injections. ``The injection dramatically lowers the sperm count by ``switching off`` the male reproductive system.`` Wait a minute, it can switch off, ( insert a question mark here, now my keyboard is refusing to issue them!). Is that not known as a `turn off`,( repeat a question mark!). So, is this a cyclical, monthly thingy (question mark). Oh, the poor babies, er, I mean male subjects! They experienced `unpleasant` side-effects... Unbelievably, to those men, they suffered depression, mood disorders, muscle pain, acne, and decreased libido. They found themselves begging, ``Not tonight, I`m not in the mood.`` Did they snap and snarl at their partners,( sigh, insert question mark here). Did they weep inexplicably, poor blubbering babies, (question mark). They endured wild mood swings. They fretted about their complexions, and worried if they were still desirable. Gasp, they were at the mercy of their fickle hormones! This is the great equalizer among the sexes. Why should women bear the brunt of birth control (yep, another question mark). It is said that misery loves company. Men and women can be equally miserable together, each and every month. Now everyone can bemoan, ``I`ve been shot.`` Hmmm, I wonder who will stick around when they hear, ``Shots are on the house`` ( question mark)