Thoughts of a Mad Man

Writing Prompts: A Gallery of Magical Detritus...

Seven Useless Magical Artifacts...





Usually, magical treasure is a thing either of wonder or danger. These are remnants, vexing, intriguing, distracting or just plain useless.





These are something else entirely. They may be red herrings, booby prizes, or just... blessings in disguise, a tool of power which will reveal its purpose in the dramatically appropriate moment.





The Wand of Butterflies


This magic device reliably conjures butterflies, of any color or species known (or, perhaps, imagined) by the conjurer. This can be a few at a time or it can be in a fan-shaped swarm. They mostly behave as commanded until damaged or until another conjuration is attempted. Magic items are hard to make; what could possess someone to create this?





Foolseeker


This ring detects intelligence. Dials on its face--where the main stone would be--allow it to be aimed in various directions and set for various levels of intelligence. Mainly it captures basic intelligence, such as wit and alertness rather than specific skills. But what purpose might this have?





The Staff of the Stream


A staff with a bit of twine tied around it at the bottom end. Beneath it, a channel has been carved in the stone floor. If you step on the channel, a stream of force will sweep your feet out from under you and usher you across the room.





The skate


A bag sits on the floor, an inch above the tile. Further investigation shows that it could be laced up to form a boot, but there is only one.





The haunted bottle


A bottle of whiskey in a bag. Skeletal fingers still grasp it, and flame dances at the insides. Scrapes or indentations, like the cut of a battleaxe on solid steel, adorn this bottle, which moves like a full barrel under the influence of a levitation spell. Clearly, something is going on with this odd device.





Stone-glove ring.


Looted from a tomb, this ring still sits on the finger of the man who wore it originally, his hand turned to stone.





The Foreign Tome


This book is illuminated with pictures of the reader. The things it pictures come to pass within forty-eight hours, yet nothing in the words can be read. The pictures do not reveal anything emotionally charged—unless you read into the pictures!— and the words can never be read by the subject, being always some language he does not speak. These words change every time they are read, as well.





Conch of Dark Hearings


Put this seashell against your ear, and you will hear the ocean. Keep listening, and you will hear people whispering. They keep saying things that will anger or frighten you, though they will never mention you by name. If you listen too long, likely you will go mad.





The Pea-Sized Marble


This little pea says it will put you into a deep, restorative sleep. Just place it beneath your bed, or chair, or other dwelling place. But for you, when you place it, it has the opposite effect, keeping you alert even in the depths of slumber and robbing you of rest.





Ephemeral sword


This sword can slip through anything, without damaging it apparently. Your hand slips right through the blade. Even if useless as a weapon, it might be valuable as a trick, if you could get it out of that ridiculous slab of marble.





Mantarudan, sword of renown


An exquisitely crafted sword, Mantarudan is just as obviously magical. When you pick it up to wield it, the blade flares with a magical orange flame. An instant later, your hand begins to blister. If you drop it, the fires stop, but if you continue your hand will be useless within sixty seconds.





Flask of Laurentius


You rub the flask and behold, a genie! But this one has nothing but smoke, mirrors, and excuses for you. He claims that he was the most prized Djinn in Aladdin's collection, and the papers you have read verify this. Yet all he will do is urge you to action, without even any but the most superficial advice on what to do. Perhaps Laurentius has grown lazy, or perhaps, something more significant is going on?





Enchanted Portrait of The User's Father


You pick up this enchanted portrait and see a moving picture of one of your relatives, perhaps your father (or mother if you are a woman) as a young person, aping your every move. No, I joke; you're actually just a barbarian seeing a mirror for the first time.





This list of low-magic, broken, or inoperable enchantments should open the mind a bit. What mysteries, what foolishness might people do when interacting with these? The resulting tale of enchantment will also be one of human ingenuity and drama.