Witness to Withness

Who would have thought?

There was a young boy with five loaves and two fish. Let's see what God can do with those.

Who would have thought a little baby would rule the world and universe
WHO would have thought God could use a young boy to slay Goliath
Who would have guessed God could look at world that was evil and recreate something good

Who would have guessed God saw potential in the person of you and me

The most awesome message God gives is that God can use the person you would least expect to reveal the beauty and wonder of God's salvation. It all started with a small 5 foot 6 inch off campus student named Phil. In my on campus days the off campus students were the out casts. Phil was not someone who would soon go away. He was a little guy with a bearded big heart. He had muscles from doing hard labour and a vision from God. How would anyone know this unless they spent time with him. That is a very wonderful message. Phil was with me as we worked and studied to see how God's word made a difference. Near the end of my time in college, I had his wife type a paper for me. It described with passion my journey out of a mental hospital to graduate from college. Who would have thought? These are the words out of the mouth of Phil reflected from the paper his wife wrote. It is amazing what God can do if we give God the gift of who we are.

Later on in my life there was another man Phil that came to my rescue. Shortly before our meeting I was dealing with authorities that said I accidentally switched medicines putting one of the clients in a life threatening situation. In my mind authority figures were always right. I grew up blaming myself for all the wrong that happened. IF ONLY I HAD BEEN A BETTER SON. My former wife and mother were clamoring for me to get on social security lest I hurt someone else.

I was devastated. I saw myself as the scrum of the earth. I went to career counseling and they lifted up a novel approach. They listened to my story and instead of rendering a verdict they asked what I thought. All of a sudden I felt empowered I knew God was not finished with me yet.

They only strongly suggested I get counselling for post traumatic disorder. They affirmed my journey as and yet without help I would suffer more indignity as had happened with me in times past. They knew just the person to help me: Phil Bohlander and he just happened to practice close to where I lived.
Phil was certainly different. Over time(I counseled with him for ten years), I learned of his bad habit of using rough language and that his own spiritual preference was Buddhism.
Yet what set Phil apart was that he cared and using my own language no one loved me more than the God I worshipped and he knew just enough about Christianity to make his opinions stick. Using a tool called ENDR he entered into my worst traumas and showed me another way. People did the best they could with what they knew, but that did not mean I was deserving of abuse. Over time I became more available to the moment. The past no longer haunted me. WHO would have thought God could use someone like Phil. He cared and stayed with me even as I readied myself to move. He believed in me!! He gave me his phone number and told me to call if I needed someone to listen. I doubt I will ever call him, but the offer and the gift of that paper with the number on it meant everything to me. Who would have known that people like the PHIL'S could make such a difference. Before my mental illness I would have avoided them at all costs as damaged goods. God used these people, so that I might have hope.