Prince Writing Challenge 2016

Private Joy

3 ~ Private Joy
I was only thirteen when this song came out. Oh how I loved to sing the lyrics and drive my mother crazy over them! Too young to know all about sex, but yet, I knew her clinical nurse’s version any way. So as a young girl I would dream away, hoping to one day find my very own Private Joy!

She had to be my secret. No one would ever believe me if I told them how she would always appear in my time of need, coaxing me along, making me dig deep to find some much needed inner strength. I never understood how she always knew when I was struggling, when I was ready to give up, ready to crawl into a hole and disappear away from the rest of the world. Yet she knew. She would drift into my world, glowing with a brilliant light that always brightened my world. A beautiful vision in the darkness of my solitary life, appearing beside me with the most enchanting smile I’d ever seen. Like a savior she lifted me up and made me believe that everything would be all right.

I often wondered about her. Where she went when she wasn’t with me, how she always came in my time of need, and mostly why she chose me. The only thing that made sense to me was that she was an angel, sent straight from heaven to watch over me, guide and encourage me, and mostly, to love me. I knew that she loved me, though I couldn’t comprehend why. It was in everything she said and did. No one else bothered with me. To the rest of the world I was a burden, someone to mock and shut away. But to her, she saw potential. We enjoyed sharing tales of make believe, of Princes and Princesses, playing games and singing songs to make each other laugh.

Oh her laugh was like music to my ears, a sound that could penetrate the walls of my heart and bring me back to life. She made everything look so easy, obtainable. And suddenly I realized that I wanted things, wanted to live, wanted to soar through this world with her right by my side. Yet, I had no idea how to do that when no one else saw her, but me. Soon I realized I was jealous of the time she spent away from me, of whoever else she showered attention on. I didn’t understand how she could leave me for even a moment, because when she was gone, she took a piece of my heart with her. I ached so badly I found myself calling out her name in the darkness, praying, begging, wishing and hoping she would reappear and set my world right again.

Rolling over in the darkened room I stared up at the ceiling, my heart heavy, my mind whirling of things I needed to say, to make her understand.

My little secret, my private joy. I could never let another, play with my toy. My little angel, from heaven above. Oh, I think I’m falling in love.

The words played over and over again in my mind like a chant, willing her to come back to me. The clock on the bed side table filled the silence with its incessant tick, tick, tick. I hated that sound. I rolled toward it, reached out, grabbed the clock and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a thud before I heard it crash to the ground.

“Why did you do that?”

I sprang up in bed and gasped. She came!

“I needed you. Needed to tell you how I feel, what you mean to me.”

She sat beside me and took my hand. “I already know. I hear you—always. I will come when you need me—always.” She pressed her hand to my heart. “Whenever you need me, I will be right here—always.”

WC:598


"Private Joy"

My little secret, my private joy
I could never let another play with my toy
My little angel from heaven above
Oh oh oh oh oh I think I'm falling in love
And I ain't gonna tell nobody nobody 'bout my little pretty toy
All the other kids would love to love you but you're my little private joy
My private joy - you're my private joy
Private joy - such a pretty toy
Joy, you are my private joy

U're my little lover, Orgasmatron
Only I know, only I know, baby, what turns you on
U're my little secret neon light
Girl I wanna turn it on turn it on turn it on every night

Ain't gonna tell nobody nobody 'bout my little pretty toy
All the other kids would love to love you but you're my little private joy
My private joy - you're my private joy
Private joy - such a pretty toy
Joy - oh my private joy

Shoot me up baby, let's take a trip
I can't get enough can't get enough of your private private joy joy
Joy - such a such a pretty toy
Joy - you are my private joy
Joy - shoot me up baby, let's take a trip
Joy - can't get enough of your private
Joy - come on honey baby get up, get up

I strangled Valentino (He strangled Valentino)
Been mine ever since (been his ever since)
If anybody asks you (if anybody asks u)
You belong to Prince (you belong to Prince)
Come on baby, get up, get up, get up, get up