Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about lazy days, Malmaison, and the Eiffel Tower.

Okay, sleepyheads rise and shine after breakfast at the hotel. Yes, I know the chef is divine here but we're off for a bike tour today. Together with your guide, you'll walk to the RER train station to make the 30-minute trip by train to Versailles. Once in Versailles, you will pick up your bike at at an office just 5 minutes from the Palace of Versailles. The first of many highlights on this active day out is a visit to Versailles' village market to buy baguettes, cheese, ham, wine and whatever else you desire for your delicious picnic lunch in Versailles' gardens. These picnic provisions are purchased at your own expense.

The next highlight today is a bike ride through the gardens behind Versailles palace  . You'll leave foot visitors behind on your tour of the palace by bicycle, as visitors on foot can visit only a small fraction of the palace gardens. Versailles' gardens and forests are crisscrossed by a network of fantastic trails and tree-lined paths, so bring your camera for picture-perfect views in every direction.

Arriving at the far end of the Grand Canal, you'll settle down for a picnic in the exact spot where Louis XIV, XV and XVI ate in order to marvel at their palace. Relax on the grass in peace where only your cycling group will be able to easily reach this end of the Grand Canal.

After lunch, pedal back towards the palace itself for an unforgettable view into the lives of the French monarchy before their removal from power by the Revolution in 1789. You'll visit the Hall of Mirrors (site of the treaty ending World War I), the King's State Apartments and the amazing King's Chapel. After your visit to Versailles you'll return to Paris via RER train.

We're doing the Eiffel Tower this evening, what better way to see the city of lights than by night, don't you agree? Meet a few streets away from the Eiffel Tower and avoid waiting in a queue that often takes at least two hours during the summer months! A pre-booked, skip-the-line ticket   grants priority access to the Eiffel Tower elevator, so you'll go straight up to the second level after learning about the building's fascinating history. Hear the story of the man behind the Tower, Gustave Eiffel, and learn about the wonders behind this architectural and engineering feat as you view it up close. Hear the details of the World’s Fair of 1889, the year the tower was built. The first level offers a great cinematic theater where you can see exclusive video of the tower’s storied 120-plus-year history. It also features one of the original spiral staircases that Gustave himself used daily to reach his office on the top level.

Eiffel Tower 2nd Level: On the second level, your guide will allow ample time to take in the best views that Paris has to offer. With two tiers on the second level, there is plenty of space to hear your tour guide explain the countless stunts and anecdotes from the tower’s past. You’ll be entertained with stories about crazy exploits (like planes flying underneath the tower) and the tower’s role in everything from world wars to Hollywood movies.

Eiffel Tower 1st Level and the Eiffel Tower Summit (3rd Level): Upon the conclusion of the tour, your time on the Eiffel Tower doesn’t have to end; the price includes tickets to the first level and the summit of the tower too. At the summit, purchase a glass of champagne to enjoy while you stare out over the City of Light. The skip-the-line access you receive for the first two levels does not include the 3rd level; everyone must wait for one elevator, but the line doesn't usually last longer than 30 minutes– a short time to wait to stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower!

Hey folks! That looks like one long, action-packed day plotted out by the incredible Lyn's a Witchy Woman ! So much sightseeing and bike riding and long lines we don't have to wait in, just to take in the many beautiful features of Paris. It all sounds so fabulous!

So, here's what we ended up doing instead:

You guys, seriously? No joke...my first reaction to Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline last night as we discovered there'd be another bike tour today was "WTF with all the bike tours??" I didn't realize that touring France was actually gonna be like the Tour de France. Since my lovely companion and I are not what you'd consider "the biking sort", we took this as a cue from the universe to keep the morning to ourselves and enjoy an extended relaxation that only involved us, luxurious coziness, and lots of peace and quiet. As the morning closed in, I hastily scribbled a note to our friends and stuck it on the door, alerting them that we would be unable to join them this morning, as we had other plans.

As we settled back into our bliss, we began to hear the chatter of the usual suspects while we laid in each others' arms, content with ourselves and our own personal itinerary.

Lyn's a Witchy Woman could be heard exclaiming what can only be considered "mild disgust": "These kids...can't take them anywhere! They'll never learn." The angry flipping of clipboard pages as she assembled everyone else was almost palpable. SB Musing and Gaby were cracking jokes like we were first-graders on the playground..."Norb and Kit, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g". I began to seethe a little, but was quickly put back into place as Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline reminded me that we were, in fact, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

The six-year-old me is not fazed by your schoolyard taunts.

And then of course, like clockwork and our favorite crazy aunt, Sally came upon our door with such gusto, I swear you could hear her heart beating all the way over on our side of the room. I don't think I can repeat what she said, but only because she was speaking so excitedly while trying to take more notes for her upcoming bestseller, Seventy-five Norbisms on the Way to a Woman's Heart.

When we were sure the coast was clear and everyone else was off on their bike jaunt, we skipped out for a tour of Château de Malmaison  ...the former residence of Joséphine de Beauharnais and Napoleon Bonaparte. Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline is fascinated by the relationship between these two, and I'll admit it's starting to rub off a little on me...it's gotten me to thinking about how complicated relationships can be at times, even before they start, and how external forces can often lead to their demise even more than the primary people involved can. The Napoleon/Joséphine romance is no exception; at one point I think I referenced it as melancholy and sad, even if it began as a bit of a triumph of sorts...the way two people who kinda travel in circles around each other and seem destined to end up together actually don't until later on down the road. There's a lot more to the story than that, but Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline can give it to you better than I can.

So anyway, there we were, exploring the grounds of this famous residence. Admittedly, I'm not much of a history buff (I think you all know this by now), but this was important to Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I'm honored to have been able to share this with her. And even though I don't know a whole lot on the subject, I can still appreciate beauty in its many forms. The gardens at Malmaison were once legendary, and they're still blooming and meticulously maintained centuries later. Joséphine wanted this to be "the most beautiful and curious garden in Europe, a model of good cultivation", and we agreed that she succeeded magnificently. I was tempted briefly to snag a flower from the expanse (c'mon, they're not gonna miss one) for my gorgeous ladyfriend, but I didn't want to be disrespectful to history either.

I have a feeling that something from the Malmaison experience is going to stay with me for a long, long time. It was a place where lovers in an embattled relationship sought refuge from their families and within each other. I wondered silently if perhaps this morning, away from the bike tour while laying comfortably together, was our own private Malmaison. And if it was, well, I'd like to avoid the pitfalls that led to Napoleon and Joséphine's divorce...huh, I guess I am capable of learning from history!

But alas, it was time to rejoin the rest of the backpackers. We shuttled over to Versailles and walked casually over to the picnic area, where most everyone had settled in for a late lunch. Lyn's a Witchy Woman didn't say anything and just gave us the stink-eye, and SB Musing came charging at us with a baguette, challenging me to a duel for the honor of my lady. Sally and Jellyfish-Flying Away 4 Xmas! wanted all the details of course, and Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline and I just looked at each other and smiled. We had no excuse, really...we don't need any reason to sit around and wait. As everyone still had their bikes, we agreed to meet them all back at the hotel before tripping down to the Eiffel Tower.

Ahhhh yes, the Eiffel Tower. Kit and I agreed this was definitely one place we wanted to see together. And honestly, I don't remember much of it other than the views being breathtaking, because I felt like I was in a whirlwind just being here. I was kinda swept up in the beauty and romance of it all. Standing behind her and holding on as we both stared out into the French night was almost as cozy as being in the room at the Four Seasons Hotel George V  . On the way down, we straggled a little bit back from the rest of the group...I purposely wanted to stop at one of the Joseph Bertolozzi listening stations  , so we could have a dance during his composition of original music using the tower itself as an instrument. Why is it whenever I do something like this, I always catch Sally out of the corner of my eye, looking at us like she's about to unleash a flood of joyful tears? She was clenched up against Schnujo's NOT Doing NaNoWriMo , so caught up in our moment that I think they almost started dancing vicariously though us...sorta like how you want to yawn when you see someone else doing it. To expand on what I alluded to earlier, not only do external forces often have an impact on relationships, but so does love cause people not directly involved in the affair to do strange things as well .

Rather than finishing up the night by closing yet another fancy watering hole full of overpriced drunks and overhyped beats, we opted to head to another Game Room...this time the One Hour Live Escape  , which was a fun way to cap off another day of adventure. The puzzles were challenging enough to cause a little self-doubt at times , but not so hard that it wasn't enjoyable. I turned around for a second though near the end, and suddenly Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline was in a straitjacket. I can only assume that this happened because everyone thinks she's crazy for spending so much time with me, but all I can say is she's doing a damn fine job of convincing me that I'm a nice guy sometimes .

Again, we decided to head back to the hotel more at our own pace than with everyone else. The moon was reflecting off even the darkest spots of the scenery, and we wanted to soak in it as much as possible, knowing that our time here would be short. It's funny how when you're on the road for so long, just being in one spot for even a day or two makes you feel so comfortable. Retiring back to our room seemed almost as if we were coming home.

"Lazy Days"   -Robbie Williams

"Crazy days, but you'll get me through.
And here I'll stay, holding on to you."