The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

The First Week

Monday is when I began all of the remedial classes at Great Ascendency. In order to graduate from Great Ascendency, you had to complete a series of, mostly, useless courses. These courses were taught my different staff members; most of the classes were taught either in Polly House or the OPO; classes that required household appliances were taught in the house
The next class was “Winning Friends and Influencing People”, taught by Barbara. Barbara was teaching students about how you can never argue with your friends, even if they argue with you, and how you never complain to them. She also taught students about how when you loan your friends money and they forget to pay you back, then you should not worry about it, or they will not want to be your friend. The last point she made is, “When you go out to eat with your friends, that is it important to pay for everything, so they will continue to be your friend; you also better not eat all of the bread because it will make your friends angry, and then you will have to give them another $100, so they will continue to be your friend.”
Tory taught one of the good classes: “Spending Money”. Even though I knew a lot about money, I was able to have enlightened conversations with Tory, since she knew what she was talking about. The class caused me to think a little more about my financial purchases. We grew a strong bond, where I felt that she one of the few staff who understood me and did not negatively judge me by my bad behaviors. Tori grew a bias towards me, since I had plenty of attributes that she felt were very admirable, and she would often overlook my flaws.
Later that night, while we were preparing dinner, I called my granddad up to talk to him, and him he was going to be a great-grandfather in nine months from last night.” Martha Wink, who was the morning house manager, called me into the other room and asked, “Have you ever actually had sex?” I, in return, asked Martha “have you?” Martha exclaimed that she did, and she gave him a real image on what sex was like, and how the first time is much more awkward than it is portrayed in the song by Lonely Island, “I Just Had Sex.”
On Tuesday night, I had just finished my music class in the OPO, and I stumbled upon a student whom he hadn’t met: Kellen Porter. Kellen was a 23-year-old male who had been at Great Ascendency for two years. Without even knowing me, he asked me if he wanted to go out to dinner, in which, despite feeling it was an awkward request having this be the first time that we’d met, I agreed, since I liked him more than Peter or Joe. At 5:00 P.M., I showed up at the transition house, in which Kellen shared with Jared, and we set off to Lugi’s, an Italian restaurant in Moroni Square. During dinner, I had talked about all of the stunts I had pulled throughout my life, in which Kellen had nothing much to talk about. I described himself as “the real-life Eric Cartman,” and upon realizing that we both enjoyed South Park, he found a common bond with me.
Wednesday, there was a dinner at Polly House. I had grown a bond with Rick, a House Manager, due to our interests in chess and Broadway. We were singing “Music of the Night”: a song from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical Phantom of the Opera. Sara England started throwing a tamper tantrum over how it was so horrible that one would sing Phantom. Instead of telling her to shut the f*** up, the staff decided to tell me to shut up and stop singing Phantom of the Opera. I developed further animosity towards Sara England, since I felt that she was a despicable human being who wasn’t worth receiving help and was the epitome of why euthanasia should be legalized in the US.
I was frustrated with how I felt other students were receiving special treatment, but I wasn’t able to talk to his therapist, so I spoke with Dr. Steed instead. Every therapist at Great Ascendency has a specialty for which types of clients they prefer to work with; Dr. Pam Mathems is another psychologist, who worked closely with students suffering from PTSD, Bipolar {1-2,} and Borderline Personality Disorder; Dr. Dhivehi Pool worked closely with students suffering from Mania Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Dissociative Identity Disorder; Dr. Maddie Steed worked with students who suffered from Oppositional Defiance Disorder, along with working with girls whom suffered from self-esteem issues; Dr. John Butler worked with clients who suffered from Asperger’s Syndrome/ mild autism, along with those who had behavioral problems; and Dr. Gore worked with students who suffered from ADHD, anxiety disorders and OCD.
Issues continued in the core house that I continued to preside in. Even though I got along well with Joe at first, mostly with a common factor of how we were both adroit gamers – though I am interested in Call of Duty, Assassins Creed and GTA, where as Joe only played PC games that suck - we began to drift apart in terms of our relationship; and within a few day, we would loathe each other within a few days. In the living room of our house, I was telling George about how a white person walking through the ghetto at 3:00 in the morning is asking to get shot; and Joe made remarks about how I was a racist retard for thinking that; and Joe told me that my parents would be ashamed of me, so I made fun of Joe for having Asperger’s. In order to f*** with him, I told him that, “A racist would think Obama is the worst president in the history of our country; and after he was reelected, I decided that Lincoln was the worst president in our history.” ROFLMAO! I saw Joe as an indolent decadent, and Joe saw me as a narcissistic egotistical brat. The same night as the first conflict, Joe put his hands on me nipples to rile me up, where I attempted to slam him into a window, but Joe’s balance kept him from hitting the window. The desire of seeing the other getting angry sufficed both of us, and this caused the conflicts to ensue. The issue was that Rick would often take Joe’s side, out of a personal bias, which would cause my relationship with Rick to be lessened.
The relationship between Peter and I had also become abysmal. I was watching the PBS Newshour in the living room, and Peter began blasting High School Musical. I felt that Peter needed to understand that he was beneath me, and he should respect me for the fear of me having him and his family killed. I was censorious towards being talked down upon by a deformed brute, thus he would retaliate during any instigated feud.
There was one other staff member whom I became acclimated with, Mindy Grace, who was a Student Life Manager at Great Ascendency. I was becoming frustrated with being around Peter, and Mindy calmed me down and gave me some advice on how to deal with the situation. The student population very well liked Mindy, since she bonded with students more than any of the other staff member.
Winfield took me to Oliver North Community College sign up for “American History”: My first college class. ONCC was where all of the students attended college, well at least those who did; during the Fall 2010 semester, Monica and I were the only two students who would take courses, and Monica took an evening art class. Taxi US was the taxi service used by Great Ascendency students, and they all had to use it to get to ONCC, since it was so far away.
While driving back to Great Ascendency, I began to reflect on the fact that I needed a staff member to take me to sign up for a course. Maybe I had some social skills deficits, but I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t allow me to sign up for my own course, when I’ve traveled on my own, scheduled my own doctors’ appointments at home, and do my clothes shopping on my own. In order to get money from a parent fund, which was when you have parents financing your purchases, you would have to agree to have a staff member take you shopping to buy the goods; and since, unless it were one of the cute female staff members, I didn’t want anyone taking me clothes shopping, since I am a grown man, I made a vow to wait until I got home to do all of my clothes shopping.
Upon arriving back at Polly House, I noticed Chelsea Lake crying in the patio outside of the building, in which Elizabeth comforted her. Chelsea was yelling, “Why in God’s name did I have to be sent to this place. I want to get the f*** out of here, I want a life again.”