The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Another Dent in the Wall

On June 30th, 2011, I came back to my room to notice that my skateboard had disappeared. I looked around the entire house to see if I could find it, but there was no luck. I finally went down to Polly House to ask if anyone had seen it. Tori revealed to me that Jodi had confiscated the skateboard because it was up against the wall. When I went to confront Jodi, she exclaimed, “You can’t have your skateboard up against the wall; it will leave a dent in the wall.”
I told the ordeal to Adam, who laughed. While the two of us were relaxing in his apartment, I noticed that Adam had his skateboard up against the wall. I turned to Adam and exclaimed, “You can’t leave your skateboard up against the wall, it will leave a dent in the wall.” Adam turned to me with a reply of “shut up.”
That night, George was lying on the couch, with his feet inclined; something that Jodi heavily chastised students for. The two of us decided to call Jodi’s office at 11:00 at night, in order to report that George had his feet on the couch. After that,we proceeded into a conversation.
“Imagine if Jodi took us all to a slave auction as part of a class.”
“But Jodi, slavery has been abolished.”
“You mean to tell me that Negros have freedom?”
“Yes Jodi, and we have a black president.”
“You mean to tell me that Franklin Pierce is no longer president?”
“Yes Jodi, his name is Barack Obama.”
“Please tell me he is not a Catholic?”
“He is not!”
“View!”
“But we have had a Catholic president: His name was John F. Kennedy.”
“That is horrible. Now are you going to tell me that trains move without horses?”
“Yes Jodi, they have trains that move using a motor; these motors are used on carriages and Leonardo DaVinci’s flying machine.:
“What happened to all of the stock that I invested in the telegraph?”
“No one has used a telegram machine since Alexander Graham Belle invented the telephone in the 1860’s.”
“I must be dirt poor now. I have been sitting on my porch with a shotgun for far too long.”
“Indeed Jodi.”
“Please tell me that we have finally cleared all of the Indians?”
“We did! We defeated that at Wounded Knee in 1881.”
“Yay!”
“But now they are lobbying for civil rights.”
“Damn!”
“I know, at least their reservations are not bad, since they have gambling.”
“That sounds very unholy.”
“You are going to hate living in this time period.”