The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Big Gay Seminar

George and I used to joke about how all of weekly seminars were gay; that joke eventually became literal. Gary Vincent was a shy; obese; dark-skinned; black, spiky-haired emo, who arrived in Spring 2011; and would hide in his room for his first three weeks at Great Ascendency.
Gary had gone to wilderness in Hawaii, and was there with Jen Griffin. Gary Vincent was a maverick that had stalked Jenny throughout the program. After being nice for long enough, she complained to her therapist, who told her she would never have to see him again after wilderness. As Jenny was on her way to the airport in Honolulu, her therapist told her that Gary would be joining her at Great Ascendency.
I had been reluctant to attend the seminar, since, as we know from previous chapters, they all suck. On April 6th, 2011, I was convinced to go, thinking that this seminar may not be too bad; I was wrong. I showed up on time for the seminar, with Gary sitting in the big chair and everyone watching, in which I sat next to Frank Gore and John Butler.
Gary admitted to being a transsexual, where everyone clapped, and admired him for his bravery; he admitted that from now on, everyone was to call him Samantha, and he had planned on getting a sex change operation to become a woman; but the straw that broke the camels back, in terms of immorality for me, was when he announced that he was planning on going to live in the girls’ house. I began contemplating how there are girls at the program who have been sexually abused, and the idea that the program would allow a guy to speak of such an idea, must have been a trigger to many of them.
I whispered to John Butler, “Can I go live in the girls’ house also, and can I be naked all of the time; and can we also build a BDSM dungeon in the basement?” That statement was ignored. I had tried to open the back door of the Old Post Office, but it was locked; I tried to get out the window but it was locked; I also tried to get into the bathroom, but it was locked. I asked Frank Gore to let me out, but my pleas were ignored. I finally whispered to the two of them, “If we need to learn about transgenders, can’t we just watch Silence of the Lambs?” After being told to, “Shut the f*** up,” by Dr. Butler, I took out his iPhone, and used the Bible on my Kindle app, to escape this despicable environment.
After the seminar, I preached about how immoral the whole thing was, but my statements were ignored. George and I were talking about how, since he had stalked Jessica, this might be a clever scheme to try to go live in the girls’ house, so he could get all of the girls. We compared him to the previous Harry, and we both decided that the previous Harry would have been too dumb to do anything like this. The two of us decided that if Gary could be called Samantha, I wanted to be called “Pol Pothead”, and George wanted to be called “Jack the Rapper”. The two of us went through a phase where we both began calling each other by the nicknames. One day, when I called George “Jack the Rapper”, Elizabeth came out and yelled at me, which resulted in me exclaiming, “If Gary can be called Samantha, then I can be called what I want,” and she kicked him out of the building. I went into Dr. Butler’s office, and requested to have my named changed to Pol Pothead, to coincide with Samantha name; and John responded by saying, “Get the f*** out of my office.”
I was speaking up at a Polly House dinner, about the immorality of Samantha, and Joe called him an idiot. I exclaimed that not supporting transgender rights doesn’t make one stupid, and Joe exclaimed, “YES IT DOES, YOU f***ING RETARD.” I argued until Samantha walked in, in which Samantha knew exactly what the conversation was about. That night, I went over to guys’ core house, where Adam was living when he got sent back. Joe disliked me, so he requested that I not be allowed in. Rick decided to put it to a vote, which was tied; but Samantha whispered something into Rick’s ear, which caused Rick to kick me out, and he told me that I couldn’t come in, since some people had a problem with me. The next day, Dr. Gore showed up at the guy’s transition house and shouted, “HARRY, GET DOWN HERE,” and “took me for a walk” to address me on the remarks he made about Samantha.
“Harry, why are you making things so difficult for Samantha?”
“Samantha?”
“What Gary wants to be called.”
“Oh! All I am doing is vocalizing how inappropriate it is that this whole thing is being forced upon everybody.”
“Harry, Samantha is trying to be accepted, and you are making her predicament unbearable.”
‘I don’t think he is unaccepted at all; if all of the Ancient Athenian philosophers were alive today, they would love Samantha.’
“Harry, BE QUIET! You wonder why people think you are socially awkward, and your conveyed lack of empathy is the illustration.”
“What about how insensitive people are towards me. Let’s say if I want to go to Chinatown to get a massage, I pick out an attractive girl, and I get a happy ending, how do you think I will feel if I learn that she was born a man? I would be traumatized! The transgender community doesn’t care about how other people feel; all they care about is forcing people to love them, and waterboarding people until they agree to conform to their ideals.”
“Harry, why don’t you try exposing yourself to people in the transgender community.”
“I already have: I’ve seen Mrs. Doubtfire.”
“HARRY, YOU NEED TO GROW U…….Hahahahaha, that was great, dude.”
“Thanks!”
“You really should try to become like Tosh 3.0.”
“I will! Look, there is a difference between tolerance and acceptance, Dr. Gore. People need to be tolerant of perverse behavior, but they don’t need to accept it; and while I’m accepting of gay people who act normally; I am more than tolerant of those who do not: despite Bert and Ernie, I am still going to allow my legitimate kids to watch Sesame Street.”
“Harry, I’m sorry that I ever accused you of being insensitive.”
`The two of us proceeded to laugh.
Samantha took a neurological exam to see if he was eligible to become a woman. Fortunately, he could not, since his test results said he was a potential pedophile. Great Ascendency then took his computer away, to keep Samantha from looking at child porn.