The Treatment Program of Absurdity: 1

Community Meeting

On February 2nd, 2011, Dr. Butler hosted the weekly community meeting in the meeting room of the OPO, and this is how it went:
“I am really getting fed up with how incompetent the staff have been around here with doing their jobs.”
“I agree! Randy is so stupid that he has failed to enter in the accurate information for my ticket, and I got one dollar last week; and when I called him retarded, Cindy kicked me out of Polly House.”
“Wait, what ticket system?”
“While you were gone, Great Ascendency initiated a new system: when students meet their commitments, they have to get staff to sign off on a ticket, and students have to give the ticket to the house manager at the end of the day, in which overnight will input the information; if a student fails to give in the ticket, they don’t get credit. The Challenger shuttle functioned better than this new system.”
“But we actually do get them in. I swear to God, the ATF handled Waco better than Randy handles our tickets.
“Well, Harry, considering the fact that the ATF actually did something, you are probably right. But guys, the process is relatively new.
“Ok, but once the error is discovered, they should immediately give us the money that we worked for.”
“Yah, why is it that the staff who do their jobs right, like Mindy, are fired, but they keep Randy around?”
“OK GUYS, like I said, the issue with the tickets is being fixed.”
“Until they are fixed, they shouldn’t take away our bitching rights.”
“Ok, let’s talk about the other issues. I was happy to have just gotten into transition, but I understand that the Internet has been down now for 3 months.”
“Guys, we are working on it.”
“Ok, but it has been a month now. Instead of that friend that Dr. Linkins brings over, he should hire a professional to fix the computer because Dr. Linkins and his friend are clearly not proficient in technology. I would love to protest against Dr. Linkins, but if he is protested against, the result would be something similar to what Assad is doing to the protestors in Syria.”
“Harry, would you be willing to get shot for standing up to Dr. Linkins.”
“I don’t want to die.”
“Wimp!”
“The one thing I have to give Great Ascendency for is that it gave me inspiration for my new song.”
“Could Harry perform this song?”
“Oh God!”
“This has got to be good.”
“Ok Harry, go for it.”
Harry Johnson:
It’s the hard knock life for us.
It’s the hard knock life for us.
Instead of money, we get parent funds.
Instead of Vegas, we are in a place more boring than Cleveland.
It’s the hard knock life.
Instead of cars, we’re forced to take taxis.
Instead of beer, we must drink tea.
Because no one cares for you, a scram,
Where you’re in a treatment program.
It’s a hard knock life.

Everyone clapped!
“When Annie meets the butcher.”
“I don’t think of myself as Annie; I think of myself as the modern-day version of Wyatt Earp.”
“Oh please, you wouldn’t survive a gunfight.”
“He’s got you there.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“Harry, as your friend, I have to concur with everyone else.”
“Darn right!”
“He might last a second.”
“C’mon guys, I would love to see Harry in a gunfight.”
“How about all of us on Gilligan’s Island?”
“If there were no jurisdiction, we would eat you alive.”