NaNoWriMo 2015 Project

Day 30 - Protagonist Change & Interviiew

Friday, Oct. 30
*Required: Protagonist Change ▼
Describe in detail how your protagonist has changed from the beginning of the story to the end. If you created a protagonist profile, devise before-and-after versions.

*Bonus: Protagonist Interview ▼
You are a journalist. The story of your novel is complete. Interview your protagonist and ask the following questions:
1. How did the events of your story change you?
2. How is life for you now?

Change is always difficult and scary. Carson's betrayal hurt me dearly. We went from being to couple to being strangers. He became a person I never would have been with if he'd shown that part of himself to me earlier.

I used to hide from the pain he inflicted, but talking to my friends and family helped me see I was settling for things I did not deserve. I needed to speak up. I was afraid to be out on my own. I had given him a lot of control in small subtle ways and when he decided he didn't like me anymore, I was terrified.

For him to believe I was only with him for the money and security he provided is a crock. For him to think we had little in common... I will admit my writing interests and my teaching were hard for him to accept as I devoted a lot of time to them... but who wants to waste time watching reruns when you can be doing something much more productive.

I was tired of waiting around to do something with him. Sure I could have suggested things... but the things I really wanted to do I preferred to do without him as he would not enjoy himself, and neither would I as I would be worrying about him being bored.

What I keep remembering is my mother's comment about how I was different when Carson was around. And to be honest, she was right. I used to pull into myself, really watch what I did or said when he was with me... always worried that he would become offended by something so minor.

It' not that I don't care now, but I am freer now. I let my humour have reign and I try not to care what anyone thinks. That is the hardest part. My family and friends know and accept me for who I am - they get me. Carson never really did... now that I think back on things.

There was a time that having a bunch of part time positions made me feel like I was living a disjointed life... not having the security of a steady income or health insurance benefits, but I have come to find that I am able to meet many of my needs with the work I do. I am teaching part time. I teaching mornings through the week in a really great school on Fredrick Street downtown. I can walk there. I teach the language program as well as art and computers. I volunteer there on Wednesday afternoons and have organized a weekly creative writing group that runs after school until 4:30 pm. I love it.

I still have my special services at home client. I work with him on Tuesday's now. His mother has been a real friend and I appreciate her support.

I work in an independent bookshop downtown. My hours are good and Mr. Clawson is really great about giving me extra hours in the summer and for Christmas and March Break. I work Monday and Thursday nights from 5 to close (10 pm) and Saturdays I usually have an eight hour shift.

Sunday is my only official day off... but I do my planning with Wendy that day at the school.

I am still writing... quite a bit actually, since I don't have the demands of keeping a house or serving a husband I can write most afternoons - anytime really. I have even managed to submit some of my work and get some published. I still have dreams of publishing my novel.... which is coming slowly.

I feel more confident and I am not so scared about my future anymore.

I have also made some really good friends... Myra and Thomas and Alex too have really helped me with my teaching strategies and to ace my interview for a part time contract teaching position. Living with teachers... I feel so much more understood.

Then there is Alex. We are friends... but I can't help feeling I would almost be willing to be more. He is gorgeous... but also kind and funny. I am not sure if I want to try again... but if I did... Alex encompasses so much of what I would want in a life partner. He is a teacher so he gets the demands involved. He is interested in my writing... doesn't seem to find it strange or odd. He also gives great feedback.

It still boggles my mind that he was interested in going to the Eden Mills Writer's Festival with me.... and Word on the Street... and he even came out to a few write ins during Nanowrimo and didn't think we were a bunch of nuts for writing 50,000 words in a month.

I am done with Carson. The house is sold and I have invested my portion. I can't help feeling that he got what he deserved... though I feel mean thinking that. He is a good guy at the core.... just not good for me, but I really don't think he will be happy with Cheryl. Feeling coerced into marriage because of her getting pregnant is not something I would have wished on him no matter how angry he made me. But it is poetic justice.

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