Jaded Warriors book 2 (Jade Series)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29


"What happened?" The panic rose in Deanna's voice as she spoke. She gave Joel a questioning glare and he staggered back as if she hit him.


“Wasn't me?” He said, as he held up his hands.


“Oh, it's nothing a little ice and a wrap won't fix.” Casey added. I smiled at his attempt to downplay my minor injury that Deanna was making too big of a fuss over.


“I'll grab snow,” Joel replied, and quickly left, probably to avoid the scrutiny more than anything.


“What did you do, Jade?” She scolded, as she gave me a hard look. Saved once again, Dr. Ashton walked up at that moment and I averted her question once more.


“Let me look at it,” he said, as he felt around for obvious fractures. “Oh, it's not too bad. I don't have plaster to cast it. We'll have to splint it and keep it wrapped for about three to four weeks. You can't use it at all. You want it to heal right and without a proper cast, you need to be careful with it. Okay?”


“Okay.”


“So did you give ole Walstrom what he had coming?” The doctor asked with a big smile on his face.


“Jade, you hit Dr. Walstrom?” Deanna asked.


“Yeah,” I said, as I glanced up at the two of them. I couldn't help but smile, satisfied for once. I watched Joel as he walked up with a bag wrapped in a towel, full of icy snow.


“Kane wasn't kidding when he said we needed to keep an eye on you,” Joel said through his smirk filled grin. His lips firmly pressed together in an attempt to contain his amusement. He failed miserably and finally chuckled to himself as he eyed me with less than discrete surprise.


“Joel! He asked for it!”


“I know, I'm kidding. I saw the whole thing… still can't believe it, but I saw it,” he said, laughing at my expense. He picked up my hand with the newly intact, makeshift splint and carefully placed the ice around it. His smile faded as seriousness flooded into his face. “How are you going to explain this to Gage? I don't know who will be more furious, him or Kane.”


“Explain what to me?”


I gasped sharply. I wasn't expecting him to show up right then and I looked up at him with widened eyes. “Gage...”


“I was told I might find you in here, I just didn't realize you were being seen by the doctor,” he said, as he gave me a questioning glance then noticed my hand. The curiosity in his eyes changed swiftly to an icy blue, heated with acute anger. His cheeks flushed with ire, as he looked to me for an explanation.


“Your girlfriend is going around picking fights,” Joel said, then flinched expectantly as Gage attempted to take a swing at his brother. “Hey, don't kill the messenger. You can have it out with Dr. Walstrom.”


“Rightfully so, too,” Casey added.


“Do you want to tell me what happened?”


“Not at the moment,” I glanced around at our audience as I felt myself suddenly on the verge of tears again. His eyes softened as he noticed my torment. He cupped my cheeks with his hands then weaved his fingers through my hair and pulled me close. I let my eyes close under the tenderness of his touch as he kissed my forehead softly then pulled me into his arms.


“I just want to go home,” I said, barely in a whisper. Disappointment weighed at my heart as the words escaped my lips, ashamed in myself for admitting it. I wanted to give up, I wasn’t strong and now Gage knew it too.


“Okay, I'll take you.”


At that moment, Kane burst through the door. “What happened?”


“Not now, Kane,” he said. I felt his words rumble deep in his chest against my ear, the steady drum of his heart, strong and bounding.


“What did he do?”


“I said, not now!”


I'd managed to restrain my tears longer than I thought would be possible, but to hear Gage, to have him here, holding me, I couldn't hold them back. I let them silently fall as they caught in his shirt.


***


The ride home didn't go much better. The ambush and my lack of sleep, along with Dr. Walstrom’s insinuations and the incident in the mess tent sent my emotions into a downward spiral.  Once the tears turned on, I couldn't get them to stop. They flowed through me like water from a garden hose as they brought memories of Trey. Painful memories that stayed in my mind as if trapped under shattered glass with never another opportunity to make new ones. Dr. Walstrom was right, Trey’s death was my fault.


The forty-minute drive grew tortuous as the silence nearly killed me and I was thankful for the intermittent conversation Gage and Casey made. I curled my knees up close to my chest as if they provided a shield and wrapped my arms around them. I didn’t want to talk and neither of them spoke to me, which I was relieved as I kept myself turned to the window, consumed with the grey remnants of the day.


I couldn't get out of the truck fast enough when Gage pulled into the driveway. I jumped out and bolted for the door. It slammed back against the wall with a loud thud, as I pushed it open. 


The familiar home surprisingly welcomed me as I rushed through the fifteen feet to my room that I needed to lose myself in. With Gage not far behind me, I turned quickly to shut the door. He jammed his foot against it to stop me and pushed it open.


“I don't want you in here,” I cried, and I wiped my cheeks as a tear-induced hiccup escaped me.


“Why?”


“Gage, please,” I pleaded, as I recognized hurt in his eyes. My heart sank, he didn’t deserve that, and it wasn’t completely true but I felt stupid, embarrassed that every time something hard or unfair came my way, I couldn’t find my strength and resorted to tears.  “Just give me some time alone to calm down… that’s all I want.”


With his jaw clenched fiercely tight, he took a deep breath and sighed as he walked back through the front room. “Casey!” Gage's voice boomed as he stormed through the doorway. “I want some answers!” Every window in the house shook as he slammed the front door. I shut myself in my room and peered out the window, still visibly upset, but far from the onslaught of tears an hour ago. Though his voice was muted, I heard him yelling from outside as he approached Casey. Their heated exchange took place not far from my window.


“What happened? What did he say to her?”


“I don't know exactly! Darby started things by telling everyone she shot Jackson… It’s out, everyone knows,” Casey said.


“Great...,”


“Yeah… then Walstrom said something about her dad, a few words were exchanged… it was loud… I couldn’t hear it all… but then he something about Trey and she punched him. You should have seen it, bro she laid him out! He would have gone through the tent wall if the table hadn't stopped his fall! But that was it!”


“There has to be more to it than that! She's locked herself in that room again!”


“I know, I agree with you, but it didn't happen there… Kane was adamant about Joel and me sticking by her while he was gone… she seemed upset about something before it went down, what exactly… I don’t know.”


I sighed as I wiped the tears from my cheeks and awkwardly crawled across the bed. I didn’t want to hear anymore. Their encounter waned and their words were lost to a distant muffle, faded into an obscure conversation as I curled into a ball and pulled the pillow over my head. I closed my eyes but as much as I begged for sleep to find me, it refused to come as the throbbing in my hand intensified and made it impossible.


I sat up slowly and blew at a stray strand of my disheveled hair as I glanced at myself in the mirror across the room. My own reflection scared me and I stood and walked to the bathroom mirror. I looked like I hadn't bathed in two weeks which wasn't far from the truth. I glanced over my face briefly with disgust at my swollen, bloodshot eyes with a large bruise under one of them.


As I rummaged through the cabinets, I found an old bottle of ibuprofen and attempted to remove the cap. I finally managed to pry it off with my teeth and took a few to ease the sharp stabbing pains in my hand. I needed to put it on ice again as the swelling grew, but that would have to wait.


I tested the water, only to find it freezing cold. I wasn't that desperate to brave a frigid bath so I resorted to temporarily changing out of my filthy clothes. I stood in front of the dresser and dropped my Levi's to the floor and pulled them off with my feet. I realized quickly, simple tasks such as removing a shirt became difficult with my stupid broken hand. Slowly, and with awkward grace, I pulled my shirt off up over my head and looked at myself with an embarrassed aversion to what others saw over the last two days.


I grazed my fingers over the purple bruise under my eye, the tenderness only surfaced when I touched it or blinked. My body ached everywhere but my shoulder stung under the once white dressing that had a smudge of dirt on it. The insult on my chest from the bullet impacted in my vest seemed to grow and touched the borders of the tattoo.


“Jade, I know you asked me not to, but I'm coming in. How did you…”


With widened eyes, I squealed loudly and whirled around. The door flew open as he barged in. “Gage!” I screamed as he stopped just inside the doorway, briefly surprised, while I barely managed to cover the front of me with my shirt. Distracted, he stumbled on his words as he tried to hold a serious tone.


“How? The front door… How did you get in the house so fast?”


“What? Gage, go out!”


“Answer me!” He insisted with a determined look in his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, tormented as he took a step towards me.


“I don't know…” I paused, as my voice softened and trailed off. “It wasn't locked.”


At that moment, his stride stretched across the hardwood floor and I backed up against the wall as he moved past me to search every inch of the room, in the bathroom, then closet and under the bed. I remained fixed against the wall as his steps muffled against the rug then he walked out and went through the rest of the house.


I forced myself to breathe as I worried about what he might find. Confounded, I pulled myself from my daze as he walked back into my room. He stopped before me with an unreadable expression across his face as I realized I still had only a tee shirt held over the front of me, not nearly enough to cover myself completely. I looked down at my chest, relieved to see at least the tattoo was still covered and I adjusted the shirt.


“No one is in here, Gage… Are you satisfied?”


“Not quite.”


I looked at him puzzled and wondered what he meant by that as he glanced back at me, equally puzzled. His eyes softened as worry crept into them.


“Gage, I'm sorry I pushed you away. Will you go out now?”


“Not yet,” he said, as he moved towards me. His hands cupped my cheeks as his lips met mine and I drifted back against the wall, lost in his kiss. His hands traveled to my bare shoulders, and grazed over the white patch covering my stitches then stopped as I stiffened. With our lips inches apart, he looked into my eyes with attentive pining. He kissed me again as his hands glided gingerly down my back.


I stifled a breath as I felt his fingers brush against the bare skin of my waist. His fingers curled into my skin, touching me like he hadn’t before as he smoothed his hands over me. My heart froze in my chest as he pressed his palms into the small of my back, pulling me to him. I pressed my wrapped hand firmly against his chest to push him away, as I still clung to my shirt with the other, only to wince from a painful reminder. I felt crippled, smothered, trapped with the inability to defend myself, as my conflicted, bruised heart also yearned to feel his touch, skin against skin, without being afraid. I turned my head from his kiss and gasped.


“Gage, stop,” I begged, as my breaths quickened with the beat of my heart as if I would hyperventilate right then. I blinked back tears, angry with myself for how I felt. His chest heaved with his breaths as I wedged my hands in between us and closed my eyes to hide from my torment.


“Jade, take a deep breath… exhale... Look at me,” he said softly. I opened my eyes to see the desire in his eyes change instantly with the stains of regret as he cupped my cheeks and forced me to look at him. “Don't confuse me with him…it's only me.”


“I already have…”   


“My hands are touching you… I'm the only one here.” 


“You shouldn't be in here,” I said, then instantly regretted it as my body wrestled with my heart. He was the only one who deserved to be this close to me, my best friend, my protector, the one who put me before himself, the man who loved me.


“We've been this close before,” he said, his voice resonated deep in his chest, and then he tugged gently at the flimsy shirt I held in front of me, the only thing that covered me and covered the tattoo. “Closer… actually.”


My thoughts drifted back to the time we spent in the cabin, the day in the hot springs, the cave with his bare skin against mine. If he wanted to, at any time, he could have lured me to be with him then, to do something I wasn’t ready for or might have felt bad about later, but he didn't, though I'm sure he felt tempted. 


“Please… I'm not ready,” I barely managed to force it off my tongue, as painful as it was to hear for myself, with frigid fear I had no idea when I would be ready, even though in my heart, I loved him and wanted him just as bad.


“Okay…”


“I'm sorry,” I said, and tears moistened my eyes as I tried to blink them away. A lament glance filled his eyes then he kissed my forehead.


“No, I'm sorry, beautiful,” he sighed deeply with resounding sorrow.


“I want to, I just… ”


“You don't have to explain, I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry, ” He said as he reached for the fluffy robe, draped over the back of a chair and pulled it around me to cover.


“I wish I wouldn't have stopped you at the cabin.”


“No, it wasn't the right time then, and isn't the right time now.”


As he pulled me securely into the comfort of his arms with no pressure to do anything but be there.


***


A pale, golden ribbon of light streamed onto the walls of my room with darkening shadows that dripped down the walls cast by the kerosene lantern as the room grew dark with night. I dressed in an oversized shirt and sweats then one-handedly attempted to pull a brush through my wet hair. Not near the difficulty, I experienced as I tried to shower and wash with an arm held out of reach of the water. 


“Can I come in?” Gage asked, after he knocked and I smiled thoughtfully at the memory of earlier. I knew he felt bad for barging in my room uninvited and I knew he had no idea he would find me half-naked as he only did so in an attempt to secure my room.


“If you dare,” I teased, trying to make light of it. I heard a chuckle rumble in his chest as the door slowly fanned open. He carried a bowl of steaming stew and an icepack for my hand as well as a mischievous grin that tugged at the corners of his lips.  “What are you thinking of right now?” I asked.


“I probably shouldn't say. I'll get myself kicked out of your room again,” he paused, to look at me with sincere tenderness. “Did you take all the hot water?”


“I… might have,” I said as I felt a little guilty.


“Good, because I’m going to need a cold one,” he said, his smile grew with a guilt of his own and I giggled, then he quickly changed the subject. “Want some soup? Megan sent dinner over.”


“I'm starved, I haven't eaten since yesterday.”


The savory aroma of chicken soup wafted through the room with a painful gnawing that grew in my stomach. He gave me a stern look for my lack of self-concern and sat to face me on the bed. Then he set the bowl in front of me and proceeded to surround my injured hand with ice as he glanced at the brush in the other. “Having trouble?”


“Yeah…” I smiled sheepishly as he took the brush and moved behind me. He pulled the brush softly through my hair. I wanted to tell him of the trouble I had washing in the shower but decided against it to avoid torment for the both of us.


“What happened with Walstrom? And I don't mean in the mess tent, I heard what happened there. Kane said he stopped something and didn't think you were completely open with him.”


I shrugged, as his hands weighted down my shoulders. With heaviness in my heart, I knew there was no point avoiding the question as I leaned back against him. “What did Kane tell you?”


“Not much. He said you couldn't talk about it, you were too upset.”


“Walstrom accused me of having something to do with setting up the exchange. He thinks I'm helping Morrison for some reason,” I said, as I looked over my shoulder, only to see irritation building in the tenseness of his jaw. His eyes turned an icy blue, which caused me to shift uncomfortably. I hated being at the center of chaos and knew that whenever I was involved, emotions would run high, putting Gage and the others at greater risk. “Then basically… he said Trey was dead because of me.”


“I'm leaving for a while, I'll be back by morning, okay?”


“Gage, why?”


“Because, I'm getting to the bottom of this, Walstrom clearly was out of line and I won't have it! Nobody will talk to you that way and expect to get away with it, I don't care who it is.”


Bewilderment encompassed me, flooded with an overwhelming sense of awe-inspiring gratitude at his need to protect me.  “Gage, you don't have to.”


“Like hell I don't, he's going to answer to me… Raύl is here, and he's going to stay with you from now on if I’m gone.”


“What?” I paused, I couldn't help but want to object, but the sternness in his eyes told me it would be pointless. Raύl would stay at Gage's request, whether I wanted him to or not. “Why are you opposed to Raύl staying?”


“I'm not,” I sighed, with resounding defeat, “I left without telling him where I was going, like two weeks ago, he's going to be mad at me.”


A smirk crept through Gage's eyes and tugged at his lips. “He said you might say that. He found out from Megan where you went. It's late so get some sleep. He'll be out on the couch if anyone tries anything and I'll be back before you wake up.”