Cabin Fever

Mercury Falls

1-21-05

Salaciously, I won't be your arm.
I was tuned in to rebellion.
I so selfishly wanted me for what I could hold,
not for what I could learn.
Even when I discovered
that through rebellion,
learning made me see into
all that I could be
without everything I had.

I'm not a stick-up kid
and I'm not gonna smash your windows.
My heart is heavy,
holding the weight of mis-forgiveness
and soiled by what never came.
I never saw what led to that
but now I understand,
as I'm a man who's been on top
and been knocked down.
On the way back up we realize
who we have kicked and have misplaced
and swear it won't happen again.
Mercury falls and we think we're prepared
or think that what we've seen
is what it's supposed to seem
but when a calendar page flips we see
we haven't seen a thing.

We can't predict the future.

Having said all that
while biding my time
and not making the same mistakes
that once destined to predicate my name,
I see that what I've learned in other places
clouds my upbringings
with colors that tell me
how everything can be right.
I'm not alone in this train of thought.
I could've been you, but I'm not
and if you don't like who I am now,
stop blaming me.
It may not be my fault
but no one's innocent enough
to get a reprieve.

A time will come
where I've proved myself
over and over
and landed me in a greater spot
that my senses can be proud of
and it'll be easier to see
than now,
where nothing is still so sure.
Don't doubt, just believe in me,
and never wonder
why I was put here at all.

As Mercury falls, sure it rises again.