Cabin Fever

Ask Yourself

9-20-03

I'm walking into walls for you.
I did my best
to hide my emotions
but that's not me
and you know that.
You're set up in brick,
quite pleased with your new fashion,
and I'm naked and vulnerable
to your every word.
I can't control any of my
feelings as much as I can
control anything you say,
do or think.
All I had or put in you
has been misplaced
and you don't seem to mind,
especially
when I
try to understand all the "why's"
when figuring out
what's happened
and what's been going on with you.

I'm running naked into
the brick wall of you
and it's all I can do.
          I can't stop myself from loving
          and I can't stop myself from feeling the pain
          you like to talk through me
          every time you speak your peace.

Ask yourself
if I've ever
left you feeling this way:
so useless and left behind?
It's worse than if I'd
never known you at all,
even if right now I don't.
Ask yourself
if I've ever
broken your heart so ruthlessly before.
You know the answers
but your ego won't let your
heart make up your mind.
Ask yourself
why it is
all the sudden
that you seem
to know so much better than before
when you don't have all the information
to make a rational decision.
Ask yourself
everything there is to know about me.