Wondering about my Wanderings

Anger

Anger is one of those indispensable emotions when it can be accessed. I grew up in a family that said that anger was not in our vocabulary. When I would talk about it with mom, she would say only dogs get mad. It was kind of strange growing up in this world. Mom and Dad could get "angry" and yet us kids did it at our own risk. As the oldest it was a life and death issue. I could not talk about it and lived in fear that one day my "angry" self would pop up and something awful would happen.

I fast forward after a few days ago. I did what I was never supposed to do. I got angry and the strangest thing happened, nothing. I got to a place where I realize first of all that the anger was there to protect me and that I had a choice to decide what to do with it. It took me 59 years to finally get a handle on this truth. It was as if I learned something that everyone else knew all along.

There was a fall out of sorts. After being told not to do it I fear the worst after having let myself experience it. It is crazy I know, but it is a place in which I struggle. Anger just an emotion, a friend, a reminder that there is help when life is at it's worst.