Everyday Canvas

Good at Bad Jokes

I am good at bad jokes, so good that sometimes no one gets them. So good that I don’t bother to clarify them, because by the time I get to explaining a joke, I forget the relationship between my words and the darn joke.

I think it is exciting to watch someone move into full maturity be it in his writing or telling jokes. In my case, I have soared into maturity age-wise, but my flapping wings have lost their feathers, and that is one reason why my jokes don’t take off.

The difference between the good jokes and bad ones is that the good jokes have the control of the world, and the bad jokes lead to furrowed brows resulting from confusion.

As to why I don’t tell good jokes, you didn’t think I needed to control the world, did you? To tell the truth, I’d rather try to control a pack of wild wolves than this world. If our world was controllable at all, don’t you think some alien society from the universe would control us? Even if at times they try, they create more havoc, I suspect. Not that I am worried about alien invasions and such; the film industry does enough of that. This last sentence, by the way, is a fact and not a bad joke, although I’d take a bad joke over such a fact.

My bad jokes range from ill-fated puns, mindless one-liners, and wobbly come-backs. They take up space and, at best, someone’s fleeting attention, and if any light falls on them they are either see-through or without density.

The only person who laughs at my bad jokes is my hubby, probably because he thinks he has to, since groaning would put him in a really bad place; or maybe because living with me is causing his mind to move elsewhere all the time and he has mastered the science of the fake laugh, which lets his mouth to spread as to suggest a chuckle, even when he isn’t listening. "When he isn’t listening" is a misnomer. Do men listen to women at all? If they ever did, this world would a different place, more complicated, possibly, but without as much gore.

At least my bad jokes are originals. They are so original that it takes a really kind person, at Mother Theresa’s range of kindness, to laugh at them. Then, on the happier side, my jokes do not use edgy or taboo subjects, since such subjects can become just as hackneyed if they are overused and if the exact same approach is made every time.

But I don't do all that. Instead, I stick to my originals, be it they come from the same place where anything absurd is being cultivated.