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Perfectionism, Shame and the Freedom of Being Vulnerable

Today's blog...

Blog City – Day 259

Prompt: Is there a relationship between perfectionism and feelings of shame when what we plan to accomplish does not come out quite right? Explore.

This brings to mind Brene Brown’s book The Gift of Imperfection. She talks of perfectionism being one of those things that we use to try to defend ourselves from our shame instead of being open and vulnerable. Openness and vulnerability connects us to others. Perfectionism holds us apart, keeps us locked in the worry that failure will bring shame and drown us in never attaining the best of it all.

Those who live with perfectionism live with the fear of failure. It slinks around keeping them trapped in their little world... not reaching out to others.

As a child, I was plagued with perfectionism. I think it was my way of coping with the less perfect things around me I had no control over. The temper and frustration roped me up. Releasing those bindings freed me up. I am open to sharing my vulnerabilities and connecting with others. I am open to making mistakes and learning from them – painful but when shared, you learn you are also not alone.

In writing, it frees me to move beyond my inner editor that could cripple me, if I were to let it. Letting creativity have its head, leaves no room for perfectionism. Creativity is exploration and pressing out into and through the boundaries. Perfectionism does not allow for such exploration. Perfection holds us bound to rules and regulations and what is expected. The two do not coexist with any ease. Those who think they can do it are merely holding themselves back from being their true, authentic self. Let it go and move into the freedom of discovery... of your gifts and of your Self.