Shouts From Down Under

Once upon a time there were some humans, and I walked them -

When I saw the chain and loop held by the man human, and heard the younger female human changing her shoes for walking, I knew it was going to really happen this time.



Going down the channels where the machine roars in, with its black round things I like to try and dodge / bite / almost get run over by, I was looking for that @$%$#@ that kept swearing at me yesterday as it took its humans for a walk past our picket fence.



But unfortunately, no such luck, and not being one to cry paw, I dragged my slow as usual human male down the road, as he and the other one barked at each other with their usual unimportant mewling. No finesse these bipeds. And rarely do they speak in my language except in a stupid falsetto voice that fools no one.

We finally stopped at a food cave where as usual, the humans fed themselves but failed to obey my command to bring pies / sausage rolls or cream cakes. Basically anything would have staved off starvation. Can't they see my skeletal body? Labradors are meant to be cuddly aren't they?



I made them stop as we left their feed trough platform, and investigated who had visited a couple of posts lately. Hmmm, quite recently, and I could picture quite a few of my canine family, but no definite wagging tails sprang to mind. After a couple of acknowledging barks, I allowed the female human to walk a little ahead of me this time.

We stopped off at a couple of park benches where I tried to indicate my boredom, with one of the humans poking at his ridiculous rectangular glass object, and the female stared for a while at a square block of papers, turning them occasionally. Finally we set off to a much more interesting area.



There were also signs everywhere very unwelcoming to my species. Outrageous. When I get voted onto the council or become queen, I'll soon do away with such nonsense.



Soon we headed away from the river, up a tiresome flight of stairs where another human who couldn't even be bothered patting or scratching my ears was trotting up and down, nodding his head to something rattling from plugs in his ears. Weird. His bottom skin was all loose with its funny little NIKE sign. Strange behaviour these humans following their Name Gods.

Then it was a stop over at the large grassy area where I tried to drag the humans in search of the small floppy eared creature, but they'd have none of it. They were more interested in being quiet, talking in low voices about people resting in peace.



I shake my head, and tail, at these antics. No self respecting canine would bother sticking flowers around these square rocks, or even come here except for the four legged food supply.

Then on towards home where I pleaded to be let play in a freshly dug ditch in our street, but then spotted an old boyfriend who I hadn't had contact with for quite some time. He was ever so sweet but alas, there was a stout human fence that separated us from reacquainting old passions. Dang humans. They are such spoil sports.



I guess I'll just have to be content with leftovers from supper.



Sparky