Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about the travelin' listicle.

BLOG CITY PROMPT: "Pretend you were on the Mayflower on that first voyage to settle in America. Describe how you felt leaving England and seeing your new home."

Good evening dear readers! I've had a surprisingly active day, considering it was my day off. It'd probably actually be a good night to take off from Blogville, but I signed up for "BLOG CITY presents: The LIST"  so I should at least make an effort, right?

And this really isn't my cup of tea whatsoever...this falls under "American History", no? Definitely not one of my better subjects, along with pretending. Luckily, as I was digging through some of my old poetry notebooks, I came across the journal I kept from when I made the maiden Mayflower voyage to America (or as we called it back then, "Let's all get on the boat and see how far this thing'll go!"). I'd be honored to share a few tidbits of my trip with you.

I imagine I'll have mixed emotions- sadness and optimism- throughout the journey. I don't want to say goodbye to the friends and family I'll be leaving behind, yet I'm anxious and ready to start a new life over in the promised land.

I wasn't sure how I'd feel though about being stuck on a boat for however long it takes to float from England to the US...especially without working plumbing. It's been three days in now, and I'm a little cranky...especially with the Johnsons' little pisspots kicking the back of my seat pretty much from the minute we shoved off.

And it's a good thing anti-sea pollution laws haven't been created yet, because I don't know where all the garbage is gonna go. The receptacles at either end of the ship are overflowing, and Macgillicuddy's been using extra napkins with all of his meals. No wonder he weighs 175 kilograms...he's been taking double rations and eating everyone's leftovers.

I swear if those Johnson brats kick the back of my seat one more time, someone's gonna have to invent life preservers if they're gonna see the other end of this shining sea.

It only took 27 days and nights for the first cry of "Aren'ts thou there yet?" Yet it was ten minutes before it was repeated by some other a-hole who thought he was being funny. No sir...you're not funny, and your wife's ugly too.

I think I left a few hot coals still glowing in the wood-burning stove...or did I? I usually put them out right away, but this time I don't recall doing so. I hope I did...I had to! But what if I didn't? And what if this trip doesn't work out and I have to go back to England, only my house and the whole village has burned down because I forgot to completely extinguish a fire? What have I done? I need a Xanax. And a glass of wine.

Seriously...you'd think with all these people on a boat this big, there'd be more than one bathroom. I don't know what's more mind-boggling...that, or how we have any food rations left with Macgillicuddy's fat arse hoarding everything.

I get that we're British and all, but I've dropped approximately 341 hints to the Johnsons that I might consider offing one of their kids for kicking the back of my seat...and no one wants to switch with me (probably because they knew what holy terrors those bastards are...thanks for the heads' up, jerks). I can be polite without Xanax and wine only for so long...good thing I can't be prosecuted on international waters for ocean rage.

Man, I hope that wherever this thing ends up docking, the people there don't have more ridiculous accents than us folks from the UK. I can't take not being able to understand foreigners.

Ya know what I could really go for right now? Some turducken. With my luck though, these people probably only have tofurkey...such a backwards society if I've ever seen one. They don't deserve all this land; they're just wasting it!

Wow...it's funny when you look back at the stuff you wrote almost four hundred years ago. You see how your views have changed and matured, plus you get taken back to places that no longer exist. Wonder whatever happened to those Johnson kids...

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Because what else soundtracks the voyage from England to a pre-colonized America better than a song by a guy who used to sing about surfing but hated swimming...and then having his masterpiece album shelved for years because the process of touring and songwriting was making the singer crazy? And for good measure, let's make a video with that song set to awkward (and possibly inapporpriate) 1970's commercials. Long live the queen!

"Bicycle rider, see what you've done,
To the church of the American Indian."
Lyrics.  

THE LISTICLE 9.10

In conjunction with "BLOG CITY presents: The LIST" , I present to you 14 songs (at least sorta) about traveling.

1) "Travelling Riverside Blues" by Led Zeppelin
2) "Last Train To Clarksville" by The Monkees
3) "Travel" by Atmosphere
4) "Silver Jet" by The Tragically Hip
5) "Travelin' Band" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
6) "Back In The USSR" by The Beatles
7) "March Into The Sea" by Modest Mouse
8) "Take The Long Way Home" by Supertramp
9) "Rock Island Line" by Johnny Cash
10) "Ferry Cross The Mersey" by Gerry & The Pacemakers
11) "Mothership Connection" by Parliament
12) "I'm On A Boat" by The Lonely Island
13) "Aeroplane" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
14) "Boats 'N Hoes" by John C. Reilly & Will Ferrell

I trust that you all know how to use YouTube if you're interested enough in any of these songs.

So I'm sure many of you have heard by now that Apple will be coming out with a new iPhone very soon ("Note: Yes , I'll be pre-ordering my iPhone 6 at th...") and to celebrate the quote-unquote big launch, some rock band from Ireland released (for free) a new studio album to everyone with an iTunes account (a group of which I'm a participant in, even though I'll probably never own an iPhone). Sure enough, I opened my iTunes library yesterday, and there it was...a brand spankin' new U2 album. I haven't listened to it yet (because ok, I like U2 and all, but I'm not a diehard fan and if this album weren't free, I doubt I'd shell out the $11.99 it's probably gonna retail for on iTunes once it's no longer free) but these 10 reactions to U2's new album  , no lie, kinda have me intrigued (in a tire fire kind of way). My favorites are JJ Dunning's and Jacques Greene's tweets.

And just like that, I've completed another entry...I'm debating if I want to study a little more for my Web Design class, because that seems to be about the only thing that puts me to sleep in a relatively short amount of time these days (and rendering my trip to school this afternoon almost useless), but instead I think I'm gonna hang around here for a few minutes and try to avoid gettin' into any trouble. Peace, roll over, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!