Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

�Let It Be�

A Beatles song says:
“Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be…”

This isn’t my favorite song; yet, it sings of a life lesson that took me way too long to figure out, but then, to convert any life lesson into an attitude takes its sweet time, as well.

I used to worry about anything that I lost control over, and not only matters that concerned me but also situations that involved others. If I didn’t try to help someone or do their dirty physical and emotional work for them, it felt like the universe would crumble on top of every one of us. This was such a defeatist approach.

While each of us have a tendency to exert control in certain situations—as some control is also essential, I wanted to ease all worries, fix all broken and torn things and people, and ease all sticky situations. I wasn’t a control freak in the sense of telling people what to do, which I never did, but I wanted to ease every single rotten situation under the sun. Looking back, I ask myself: “Just who did you think you were? God?”

Maybe my being an only child or maybe having a mother who was emotionally dependent on me as well as being the punishing, critical type had to do with this behavior, or maybe I needed to feel superior in some way; the reason, whatever it was, doesn’t matter. My way of being overly concerned about anything and everything was faulty.

In time, somehow, I saw that the problems either were solved on their own or they became assimilated into everyday life, and no one truly fared the worst for it. Still, it was my internist, eventually, who opened my eyes to my shortcoming when I developed high blood pressure, which runs in my family by the way, but my freaky fix-everything nature was adding to it. So in my mid-forties, I started a meditation regimen and also some deep thinking, which involved finding a peaceful area with no distractions and choose an important topic to think about. The peaceful area for me was a hammock under the oak trees and the important topic was why I worried so, about everything and everyone in my world. There, the importance of the serenity prayer became crystal clear. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Its first part was the one I lacked: to accept the things I cannot change.

Einstein said, “The world, as we have created it, is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” So true. Too often, we drift toward a predetermined mold laid for us by those around us or even by ourselves. Once we realize we are stuck in a mold, then we can find a way to break out of it.

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Prompt: What is a lesson in life that took you way too long to figure out?