Who do I still think I am??

This one's about a ladder, kinda great days, and shut it.

30DBC PROMPT: "Drowned By Betrayal and a Ladder To Heaven."

What's up y'all? It was bound to happen eventually, and quite frankly I'm a little surprised that it hasn't happened sooner...I've pulled three lemons on the prompt slot machine (and no, I'm not a gambler, so please don't make it inadvertently worse by saying it's rather common in Vegas to line up three lemons). I realize that I don't have to participate at all, but since I'm already here for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , I may as well spread around my own special flavor of joy among as many groups as possible tonight.

Maybe it's me, but I can't be the only one who read "Drowned By Betrayal and a Ladder To Heaven" and thought "Really? Really??" Y'all know me...that's a fiction/murder mystery/goth poem prompt. Ain't a blog prompt. And it could just be the mood I've been in lately, but I really don't have the gumption to wanna be creative and bullshit my way through something I don't believe in (yes, admittedly I'm somewhat miserable today for no good reason, but still...). Wanna write a short story? Cool...go join one of the (estimated) 486,812 short story writing groups on WDC. I don't believe I can draw on anything from my nearly 39 years of existence in such a way that it would resemble an honest-to-goodness blog entry that I would feel comfortable with sharing, unless you're expecting me to say something like "the Jesus-peacers talked a lot of shit about me behind my back once that wasn't true because I was tryna hook up with their princess, and then they knocked down my ladder to heaven right before I was about to level up and save the kingdom". 'Cuz that happened to me once (minus the sweet video game scenario in the last part of the previous sentence). But y'all don't wanna know about that...you're here for the fictional version of "Drowned By Betrayal and a Ladder To Heaven".

Well, I'm not gonna do it. Sorry not sorry. If you were relying on me to enliven your day by twisting a prompt around to provide some kind of comic relief, the well's empty today. Come back another day. Too bad about your luck. Gotta get your entertainment somewhere else, 'cuz I'm not gonna always keep bein' that guy.

Only two more prompts to go!

BCF PROMPT: "Write about a Great Day."

Whatchyou know about great days? Tell you what...ain't been a great day today in what's lookin' like a month of ain't great days. And I know..."Cheer up!" "Think positive!" "Be thankful!" And I'm all that and then some, but aren't we allowed to have a stretch of days that for some reason or another don't mesh with the overall plan? It's not like trying to put myself in a better place mentally is gonna make me wanna upgrade my mood eight hours earlier from "borderline homicidal" to "surprisingly pleasant and approachable", dig?

Wait...I better not say "borderline homicidal", because I don't need suspicions or allegations. I just had to overhear a woman today talkin' about how she made some kind of off-handed remark like that to her dentist about having work done, and sure enough he reported it to authorities, and Child Protective Services wanted her kids, and I'm sure there's way more to the story than what this woman of Cortland was letting on to, I'm not sure I even know how to go "homicidal"...wouldn't I need, like, an arsenal or something for that? I haven't even played a video game that promotes violence of that nature in years...I'm sure the homicide scene has probably changed a lot since then.

A great day would be the absolute opposite of my mood right now...being unjustifiably pleasant and understanding why. Details aren't even important...hell, I could be shoveling a parking lot full of burning monkey shit and if I'm happy, it's no big deal. But hand me unlimited amounts of money and piles of bacon, massage me with the vaginas of every Miss America Pageant winner, and show me all of my favorite teams winning championships consecutively...if I'm miserable, I'm miserable and that's the end of that. The only known cure for a severe case of the "hate-it-alls"? Sleep. When I'm sleeping, I'm not angry or upset or stressed (regardless of what I'm doing in my subconscious mind). I'm asleep; I can't be anything else, and I'm not responsible for what happens in my dreams or to my surroundings when I'm under.

A truly great day would be sleeping so much that I don't have to deal with idiots, loudmouths, other people's "private" conversations on public buses (especially when they're one-sided screaming matches full of fragmented sentences that hardly make sense in any context), meetings where people infer that something is dramatically wrong and don't wanna talk about it (but are more than happy having other people bring it up for them, in gory details), people who are paid to do one job and suck horribly at it, the New York Yankees, Bon Jovi, making phone calls, making phone calls and leaving messages that aren't returned, expectations, therapists, or any member of the insect family. But I'll settle for spending more time asleep any given overnight than I currently spend tossing and turning in an effort to get back to that state of rest I spend the first hour or two each night in.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I'm having another terribly indecisive day, coupled with the complete lack of an attention span, so I'm posting this video for the umpteenth time so I can get on with the rest of my evening. When I can start having consecutive days where I only have good things to say, I'll embed less-snarky songs.

"I'm only serious."
Lyrics.  

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

"It was a stupid thing to say..."

...And that's why I keep my mouth shut a lot these days, because sometimes no matter how hard you try you can't stop something reckless and embarrassing from seeping out. I feel like my biggest fear lately is being one of those people who sends me into an internal rage when I'm out in public and I can hear their conversations, which almost always consists of something I wish I hadn't heard and probably wouldn't have if they'd known how to speak at a reasonable volume. I think the cell phone has ruined society's concept of "the inside voice", because too many people feel like the person on the other end can't possibly hear them talking through this tiny little device they couldn't get any closer to without swallowing.

I don't answer my phone unless I'm in a private setting. It's not because I wanna be shady, but because the person calling me wanted to talk to just me. If I felt like announcing my business to an entire three aisle section of Kinney Drugs, I'd make sure I stood on some kind of podium and demanded everyone's attention before I took a call. I know how to use intercom systems in stores...perhaps that's an even better idea.

Television is probably equally to blame, because we're so used to reality fodder and 24/7 access, so the catch-up wannabes don't wanna be left out...instead of calling someone back because you were busy shopping/dining/at the doctor, there's some kind of twisted personal validation attached to letting someone know in the moment what you're doing. It's almost like we're saying "This is how important my mundane life is...I couldn't bear not talking to you during these precious moments, such as when I'm deciding which brand of tampon is more beneficial to my immediate health and finances".

It's not that I'm anti-cell phone, or anti-conversation (I used to be a damn good cellular salesperson, back in the day). I'm all about common courtesy and STFU when you're in public. Nobody wants to hear it. Some of us have just as many, if not bigger, concerns, and we'll address those through such things known as "the proper time and place for everything"...which for damn near everyone else, is probably Facebook.

In the process of Googling things (yes, sometimes hatred and angst need online clarification), I came across this Charles Bukowski   quote and I feel like it has summed up my day if not perfectly, then quite well...

...which led me down a weird rabbit hole on Twitter, where I ended up at this gem   (that I have to post as a link because it's a WDC sin to embed tweets and trying to shrink it down to fit the unrealistic parameters that is the WDC image creation matrix would render the text practically unreadable). And don't ask me if I'm watching the Mets/Braves game, because I know it's a crucial series and Mejia just blew a potential save situation. That's my nightcap, folks...thanks Twitter.

And speaking of Google, while I was grasping at straws regarding the 30DBC prompt, "ladder to heaven"   isn't just a thing, but it's actually an episode of South Park that I've actually seen. Who knew?

Well, the good news in all of this is I think I'm turning a corner mood-wise, and all my short-term frustrations should be out of my system very soon. The bad news: is it a corner, or a really distorted curve? Guess we'll see tomorrow. Thanks for putting up with me this evening; you're all lovely. Peace, it's everything you could ask for plus more, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!