Reflections: A Book

Letters to my mom...and friends.

Dear Mark E. Carpenter,

I love you. I really truly do. I love you for many reasons but the main reason I love you is because I want to be more like Jesus. I believe Jesus loves you also. That being said: I do not trust you to put Jillian's mental and emotional well being ahead of your own.

I do not trust you to put Jillian's mental and emotional well being ahead of your own because you are a distraction.

I feel you are a distraction because every instant Angela, Jillians mother, spends focused on you is an instant she is not focused on the mental and emotional well being of her child.

To this end, I can not stand to see your face.

I can not currently stand to see your face because I see so much of myself in Jillian.

I see myself in Jillian because I know what it feels like to wish I had a "better" Dad. I think Jillian has a hard time relating to you because she wishes you were her Dad, but you're not.......

I can not currently stand to look at you because I feel you are not currently accepting your limitations. You can not make Angela trust you. You can not make Angela marry you. You can not make Angela fight for her child. You can not make Angela give you exclusive Paternal Rights. But you CAN remove yourself from the situation, because right now you are nothing but a distraction.

To this end, I can not stand to think about your issues anymore. I can not stand to think about you because I have Daddy issues.

I don't think you can stand to look at me either. I think you can not stand to think about me because I believe you have Mommy issues.

I think because of your Mommy issues you are angry at me for not coddling you right now. I can not afford to coddle you because mine AND Jillians mental and emotional and spiritual well beings are at stake. I can not afford to coddle you. I can only afford to be honest with you.

Honestly, I think you are allowing Angela to coddle you. I feel that Angela needs to be focused on Jillian. I feel Angela should be coddling Jillian right now.

Until one of the following occurs I will not set foot in your apartment or Prodigy (if you are there without Jillian):
1. You stop being monogamous with Angela;
2. You propose to Angela and Angela accepts your proposal.

If you refuse to respond to this letter within 24 hours of receipt I will be deleting you from my phone.

If you refuse to acknowledge receipt of this letter I will assume you do not understand me. If you still do not understand me after reading this letter then we have nothing left to discuss. If you would like to continue our friendship please either tell me in writing or tell Angela to call me. Please and thank you.

Good luck and God Bless,
Ashley Faith

Soundtrack:
Paramore - Ignorance
Maggie Chapman - Give Me a Minute
Luther Ingram - If lovin you is wrong i don't wanna be right
Friends Of Distinction - Going In Circles
"You've got a Friend" By: James Taylor
Anthem Lights - Give Your Heart a Break

P.S. Give the following letter to Angela when/if you think she is ready to hear it.

Dearest Angela,

I love you. I really truly do. I love you for many reasons but the main reason I love you is because I want to be more like Jesus. I believe Jesus loves you also. That being said: I do not believe you are putting Jillian's mental and emotional well being ahead of your own.

I do not believe you are putting Jillian's mental and emotional well being ahead of your own because you are allowing yourself to be distracted.

I feel you are allowing yourself to be distracted because every instant you spend focused on Mark is an instant not focused on the mental and emotional well being of your child.

To this end, I can not stand to see Mark's face.

I can not currently stand to see your boyfriends' face because I see so much of myself in Jillian.

I see myself in Jillian because I know what it feels like to wish I had a "better" Dad. I think Jillian has a hard time relating to your boyfriend because she wishes Mark was her Dad.

You scare me because I feel you are not taking the damage your ex is causing seriously. I believe your ex is mentally and emotionally scarring Jillian in a way that you do not fully understand.

I can not make you trust me, but you should trust Mark. He get's it.

If you have any questions please call and/or e-mail me. I will do whatever I can to help you understand my position and why I have written these letters.

God Bless,
Ashley Faith

Sound track:
Meghan Tonjes - Affected
Paramore - Ignorance
Maggie Chapman - Give Me a Minute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQGDcKA5hT4#t=39
Luther Ingram - If lovin you is wrong i don't wanna be right
Friends Of Distinction - Going In Circles
"You've got a Friend" By: James Taylor
Anthem Lights - Give Your Heart a Break