Death and Relations Can be Painful

An Ennead Letting Go's (The Job)

Have you ever been in a job that you knew was time to let go?  How about being in that job that had a boss that was so mean or laid back or took credit for your work or constantly put you down or otherwise just was not right for you.

Because we are human, and often do not own our job or place of employment, we work for others.  We work for others primarily to get a paycheck.  The paycheck is needed to meet our basic needs, wants, and ultimate goals.

Many of us keep our jobs or stay in our jobs because we feel that we can't do any better; the job market is tight; friends, spouses or someone other than ourselves believe that we have the best job ever or in my case benefits and pay!  I must also say that I stayed because of the opportunity to move up and around without leaving the organization.

All of these are great reasons, and I am sure you can add many more.  However, are these good reasons for living your life the way that you do or have done for so many years?  I think not, at least not for me.  Life is entirely too short to live and work in a place or for someone that does not value you and/or you do not like.  The hard part is figuring out how to let go and move on.

Many of us that finding ourselves in these jobs have  obligations, needs, and /or other  reasons for staying including the fear of letting go, limited skills or being afraid of taking risks.  No matter how miserable we are, we stay.  We work the minimum number of hours and any over time required or if we are managers until the job is done.  We barely get home in time to be with the family or do those things that we truly appreciate in life.

Letting go can be exhilarating. Over the years, I have held onto jobs that took me where I thought I wanted to go just to get there and find out that I did not find happiness or joy.  I spent years carrying out orders, getting paid, and preparing for retirement.  My jobs were not menial or dirty, but they were not the best use of my talents and skills.  As I look back over the past 60 years of my working life, (yes, I started working at age 7), every job prepared me for the next one.  Eventually, my education, training, and experience made me the right person for the job, but I never really planned for my real job.  As a result, I had jobs, not the job, but jobs.

One day after working in a job for almost ten (10) years, and getting a boss who once again did not know anything of the work that was being done, I decided to resign.  Right there, right then, on the spot I tendered my resignation.  I was free.  I packed my office with the help of several others, and walked out the front door.  I have never looked back.  Just so that you know, the job paid $100,000+, offered great benefits, had an absolute great staff of people working there, and met a major need in the neighborhood, and still I left.

I had finally gotten old enough or wise enough to know that money, benefits, and others' goals were not enough to make me happy!  Not only were they not enough to make me happy, but were taking a serious toll on my health.  The day-to-day stress of running the organization, without sufficient financial backing, lack of support from the board, or other entities in the community made the success of the organization unobtainable.  I worked hard.  I drove my people hard.  I drove the clients hard.  We produced.  Not enough.

It was time to let go.  I had finally arrived at a place in life where I no longer felt obligated to explain to anyone why I was leaving.  I also did not stay because I needed the money.  I had come to a place that I was important to me.  In years past, everyone else was more important than me.  I had taken the world on my shoulders and I was weighted down.  My health, lifestyle, and peace of mind were at stake.  It was truly time to let go.

In order to let go, I had to reach a level of peace with what that meant to my future.  Would I ever want to work again?  What about references?  How would I survive?  How long would it take to get another job?  How would I survive?  Lots of questions with no answers, but quit I did, and the chips fell where they may.  I was free.

The first few days I slept late.  I fixed breakfast.  I watched the sun rise.  I explored my house.  I invited people over.  I played games on my computer, and I rediscovered my passion for writing.  I had the time to do things that made me happy.  No pressure.  No deadlines.  No reports.  Just time on my hands.  Time to make an assessment of where do I go from here, and how do I get there.

The assessment was my most valuable tool for helping me to let go.  No, it was not a formal instrument, but it got the job done.  I learned that I could live off of less, if I was not competing with the joneses.  I realized that most of what I was earning was going to help everyone but me.  And, the biggest revelation was that the organization would go on without me.  I was not even a footnote in its continuation.  The headless horseman kept moving forward.  Wake up call.

Letting go was not easy.  There were bills to be paid, and the need to retain a place to live and a car to drive, but in the greater scheme of things living was much more important.  Living and being healthy took precedent over everything else.  Letting go became my only option.

Fearlessly, I stepped out of the front door of my last employer, and I am grateful for the decision.  I have given myself permission to live not just be alive.  Modestly living, I have learned how much happier I am.  I have the freedom to write, to paint, to take a walk in the park, to smell the roses, and taste the coffee.  Yes, there are times when I may actually reach out to another human for help, and that is okay.  The human touch and the human support system are awesome.  It is why we are born into families -- to need and support each other -- not to become islands.

You can let go, if you still believe in the kindness, support, and love of those around you.  You can let go, if you do not have to be the only one with all of the answers.  You can let go, if you are willing to let others see you as yourself.  Just another human striving to be your best with less!