Wondering about my Wanderings

One of those days

I have had one of those days. Life can seem to be such a paradox. I still toy around with the idea that I want to do whatever God wants me to do every moment. At the same time I celebrate that God give me freedom to learn from my mistakes. Security comes from knowing God is with me always, growing implies from me that God opens his arms and lets me play at understanding what God is all about in the playground called life. God is forever waiting on the sidelines to give me an embrace whenever I am ready to receive it.
My day began with the need for sleep. I get home after an overnight and am fairly wiped out. The dog goes out does his thing and I fight to sleep. I get a call from my son saying he can not make our lunch date. He has to take care of my ex wifes mother. I am glad he cares, I just wish there was time for me. I get a call from my agencies boss telling me what a wonderful job I am doing and then challenging me to get my clothes washed just right. She talks about two hours for this and that to make sure that the clothes have no odor. The client is hypoallergetic. If only I could smell what she is going through. This will be the eighth go around of trying to get the clothes to smell/be just right. Caregiving is a lot more that taking care of a person!

I have a doctor appointment that I miss by one-half hour.


Where in all these paradigms am I so tuned into God I can not do anything wrong? I did have a lovemaking session with my wife that had a lot of that kind celebration. The way I have it figured God is on the sidelines waiting for me to come into his arms all broken up so that I know more about what it means to be whole. What is keeping me from getting there? One of those days I will get there and then I will know I have arrived!!!!