Death and Relations Can be Painful

Beginning to Cope

Today, the sun is shining very brightly.  The heavens are lite up like a fiery candle, and all is right with the world.  Yet, I am reminded that even as I sit here feeling wonderful and taking in all of this beauty, someone somewhere is dying, and a relationship is ending.

As painful as relationships can be, it is important to have relationships.  The time you take developing those relationships will pay off in dividends, and will leave with you memories that can never be forgotten.

The relationship most vivid in my heart is the relationship between me and my Mother.  She made me complete.  She and I cultivated a relationship that last for more than 48 years.  As I look back, we spent more time together than we even spent apart.  We could talk about almost anything.  I seemed to have no secrets with her.  She could listen to me for hours, and talk later about everything that I had shared. 

Over the years, my Mother became my best friend.  This was the best relationship I have ever had.  When she passed, I was lost.  I stayed lost for years.  While she was living, I had not developed close relationship with anyone else.  I was divorced with four birth children, one play son, and six grandchildren who loved me dearly.  Yet, I felt alone.  Abandoned.  Lost.  Always going through the motions of living, working, and participating without really caring.

As you can imagine, i gained a lot of weight.  I got fat.  I could not lose weight.  I was moving in the direction of drowning in food.  I reached out for help.

Here is what I learned about me.  It was not what I was eating, but what was eating me!  (coming next)