Who do I still think I am??

This one's about saving lives. And cake.

30DBC PROMPT: "Have you ever risked your life to save the life of someone else? Would you if the situation arose? Who would you risk your life for? (If you would prefer to answer a slightly tamer version of this question, replace the word "life" with reputation.)"

What's up y'all! I know what you're thinking..."What's he doing posting blog entries two days in a row??" And that's a very valid question, with a simple answer...there are no Sabres games or football games on for me to be a party to this evening. Notice I didn't say hockey games...I think the NHL is still trying to figure out what sport the Sabres actually play these days before they commit to broadcasting more games in the Buffalo market in accordance with the new deal signed by the league and Rogers Communications (http://www.cbssports.com/nhl/eye-on-hockey/24285119/nhl-announces-12-year-52-bil...).

So that's what's bringing me to you tonight. Glad we could bond over our mutual admiration of seeing my words on a computer screen or mobile device. Let's set this thing off then. And as a rule, I'll be avoiding the "slightly tamer version", because to not do so would be no sortsa fun.

I personally have never risked my life to save someone else's. But I imagine that would be a pretty cool thing...you'd be that person's hero, as the damsels in black and white movies would say to their saviors after being rescued from moments of distress. And then they'd maybe bake you a cake, or kiss you on the cheek, or paint a face on a potato and carry it in their purse claiming it's you, and how you'll never leave her side ever again. And man, those special effects in movies nowadays are pretty amazing...I hear some theatres are charging $30 a ticket, which includes a gallon of soda, a shopping bag full of popcorn, and a restraining order against the protagonist's love interest and her crazy stalker friends.

Now, if I were to find myself in a situation where it becomes a question of risking my life over someone else's...whooooo boy, I don't know. I'd love to say without a doubt that I would, no questions asked, and I'm thinking most of you probably feel the same way, yet I can't help but think that my reflexes would kick in before my generosity did, which would propel me out of a bullet's or speeding vehicle's way...neither of which I'm prepared to defend myself against. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd be more likely to use another person as a shield under these circumstances rather than simply finding the way to GTFO of...and that's where that joke's gonna end before I get any bit more tasteless with it (and believe me, the thought has crossed my mind).

Then there's the question of who I would risk my life for, and the answer should be "If I'm willing to risk it for anyone, I should be willing to risk it for everyone". Cute story bro, but we know that's a lie. You're not <insert deity here>! You don't get to pick and choose who lives or dies! Unless you're hanging around a cliff maybe, watching other people who hang around cliffs, and someone gets a little too close to the edge...and then what? You judge for a split-second, and either save them or let them die? Meanwhile, I'm judging you for hanging around cliffs all the time, ya creeper, 'cuz that's just dumb. Get a job or something.

Lifesaving isn't as glorious as it seems, friends. You don't wake up in the morning, look at the calendar on your phone and go, "Dammit, I was supposed to meet my homies on the golf course at 2:45, but it looks like I'll be pushing someone out of the way of a bus careening out of control on the other side of town at the same time! Oh no!" It requires an odd set of circumstances to occur along with a precise amount of snap judgements; otherwise, everyone involved and then some are probably dead. If you act appropriately, only you're dead. I say this now, but watch...everyone else with an entry today on this same prompt is probably a lifeguard or a cop or an EMT who's probably saved dozens of lives, and they're all like, "Snap, I save lives every day like y'all fall out of bed!" Only I haven't fallen out of bed in a long time, crazy do-gooder.

So let's sum this portion of today's nonsense up: I've never saved a life, don't count on me to in that situation, and stay in bed. Glad we could work that out.

BCF PROMPT: "Apparently, there is a National Day for just about anything. Today, November 26th, is National Cake Day! If you had to represent us in a world bake off, what cake would you bake to best describe us and why? Bet some of you are going to immediately say 'fruitcake'! "

No, no I would not say "fruitcake"! I was actually thinking "urinal cake", but that's not very comely either. I've never really fancied myself as a baker; I'm more a cook than anything. I've baked cookies, but I don't believe I've ever baked a cake. I'm guessing some of you may be familiar with this website: http://www.cakewrecks.com/, or the books or Facebook pages of its brethren. Some of you probably even think you're pretty proficient with the baking skills, even. I can tell you with full confidence that I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum...I'm not Betty Crocker, but I surely can't be as bad as some of these either: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/24-bakers-who-totally-nailed-it. And don't call me Shirley.

Now, before I continue I feel like I must warn you...especially if you're reading me for the first or second time, or you're just getting to know me, or you wanna stalk me and figure this slab of internet wonderment is your gateway drug to better things: no, I will not bake you a cake, no matter how beautiful or creepy you are. I have no desire to do so. Ever. Oh, I'll buy you a cake. I'll buy you cake mix. I'll buy you the stuff you mix with the cake mix. But I will not make you a cake. Under no circumstances. We clear? Good.

However, for the sake of having an entry that doesn't end on a crappy note, like the previous paragraph or something else like "Chocolate, 'cuz that's what's in the pantry", let's see what I can come up with.

For starters, what nation has a National Cake Day?? Why, United States, why??

Ok. Enough whining. I once knew people who used to make these cakes...I think they were called Slush Cakes, actually. It wasn't really a cake, but it was crazy tasty and I swear I could've eaten pans of it. It was a pastry crust, some kind of custard or vanilla pudding, some chocolate pudding, and whipped cream, and then it was topped with crushed walnuts and cherries. I don't know where the name comes from, and I don't have an exact recipe, which makes all the more sense when you consider I said a few sentences back that it really wasn't a cake.

I swear it's a real thing. I just don't feel like looking it up right now to back up what I said. But it seems easy enough to make, and the ingredients have all the major food groups: crust, chocolate, dairy, and fun. So it's healthy too. See, even when you're not trying to learn something when you decide you're gonna waste precious time you could be spending with your loved ones and instead clicking on my links, you wind up learning something anyway. I'm like nutrition for your head like that!

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Remember yesterday, when I was ticking off karaoke songs like it was some sort of sick hobby? Definitely add this song to that list.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Just checking...nope. Still no hockey emoticon. Don't make me go on some kind of random "making sense" spree until I get my way with this, ya hear?

Stupid northeast and its stupid weather. Not very elegant or writer-ly of me, I know, but the slim chance I had for having real turkey on Thanksgiving rides in opposite proportion to the likelihood of precipitation tomorrow, which is high for the WNY area. It's pretty reasonable to assume I won't be heading west and seeing family, which is unfortunate.

Remember the tasteless joke I didn't make in the first segment of this entry? All I have to say is that I read an article about old Nintendo games from the '90's that were based on literature, and it included this sentence: "That’s right, you throw a baby." Yes, when others say things like that it kinda makes my day sometimes. http://mentalfloss.com/article/53130/11-nintendo-games-based-classic-works-liter...

I think that's an appropriate place to call it a day...I've got some Editor's Picks from the "Invalid Item"  that I haven't had a chance to check out yet, as well as "Invalid Item"  that I still need to finish reading (and it's only right that I mention Elle - on hiatus 's newsletter during an entry with a prompt that centers around cooking...but really it's always a fantastic read and if you're still reading this then you should definitely be subscribed to both the Bliss and Elle's Kitchen). So yeah...uhh, thanks, peace, get cake, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!