A Book Nerd's Inner Voices

Wasted Time

Do you ever find yourself desperate to do something else? Anything else? I'm sitting at work, bored out of my mind, running through the gigantic list of everything else I have to do. I have work to do, I just really do not want to do it. Why is it that I can't work from home and then have the work be what I actually want to do? Is that asking too much?





Maybe it is. Maybe we just have to work and work and work or maybe that's just America. What happened to actually enjoying life? What happened to having the time to look around you and truly see the world instead of watching it pass you by? We try so hard to get through the work week, can't wait until Friday, but what we don't always realize is that's another five days of your life that you can't get back.





Did you live it the way you wanted to? Did you do the things you wanted to? Did you even appreciate being alive, having a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food in your belly? I know I don't. I get up, hating the moment when I have to roll out of bed, praying that my daughter stays asleep just fifteen minutes longer so I can get ready for work without chasing her around to keep her out of trouble. Then I barely get any time with her and I'm wishing the morning could be longer. Before I know it I'm dropping her off with somebody else for the day and by the time I get her in the evening she's tired and cranky, so am I, and I get maybe two hours with her before she goes to bed, most of which is occupied by cooking, eating and bathing. If we're lucky, we get in a good game of chase, maybe sing the ABC's a few times, read a couple books and play hide and seek. If we're lucky. She goes down, my husband and I clean up, shower and he goes to bed. I write, but by then it's nearly nine o'clock and I have to leave by 7:30 the next morning. This is my life Monday through Friday. Five days a week.





Where in there do we even have time to really do the things we love? If I had it my way, I would work from home, raise my own child, and really get to spend time with her. I wouldn't be so tired that all I want to do is relax and have quiet time when my husband wants to spent time with me. I would have dinner done at a reasonable time so we wouldn't have to spend the entire evening going, going, going. We could go do things, see things, learn things. Instead, it's a never ending schedule with a two day weekend that is never long enough.





One day I will have the life I want. Because I refuse to be on my death bed wondering what happened to the time that was my life.