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To Smile Again with a Tree Starter Kit

This morning, I went to the Creekside Hospice Memoriam Gathering at the Las Vegas National Golf Club on East Desert Inn Road. The To Smile Again presentation is an annual event held to celebrate the lives of those who have transitioned. As my anchoring object, I took a dress Mom made and painted for herself. It was her favorite dress, so even though I cannot wear the dress, I will keep it as a memorial object to my mother.

I thought I could get through the ceremony without crying, I was wrong. When Mom's name was read I cried, I know there will be other times I will cry because there are places here in Las Vegas that Mom and I went which I have not been to since her death. I have not been to the movie theater we liked to attend. I have not been to Mom's favorite buffet. I have not been to Mom's favorite Walmart store. I have not planned a trip to those places because I know I will want to cry; however, I think I will plan a trip anyway because it does not matter if I cry.

At the To Smile Again celebration I received a tree starter kit called a Tree In A Box, with a booklet giving instructions on how to plant the tree. Lisa, my grief counselor, ask us to plant the tree. Therefore, despite the fact that I have a brown thumb and plant tend to treat me like a goddess and sacrifice themselves, I am going to attempt to grow a tress. I am going to attempt to grow a Ponderosa Pine, which is appropriate since one of my mother's favorite western television shows was Bonanaza.

To Smile Again

To smile again
when I remember your laughter
at meeting your first grandchild

I have been thinking about writing this poem for sometime, but, until today, have not been able to start it. I started it at the Memoriam Gathering, but I have not gotten any farther then three line. I know eventually I will finish the poem, I would like to finish the poem before Wednesday, November 6, which is our next group meeting.

To smile again
I would fill an ocean with my tears,
if I could just see your face again.